Saturday, June 26, 2010

My sweet children

I laid beside you today and watched you as you slept. Normally enjoying the quiet of bedtime, today I missed you, the noise...laughter...smiles...i love you's.

You are growing up so quickly, yet you will always be my babies.

Your hands still small, yet you feel as though they can take on the world without me.
My role as your mother seems ever changing. I am referee, protector, guider, helper, boo boo kisser, band aid administer, tutor, teacher, explorer, fellow dreamer, fort maker, cook, spiritual adviser, social planner. Yet, I am always giver of love.

I pray that each of you know that every decision I make, every rule I enforce, every spanking I give, every time we do something fun...silly,every hug and kiss...I do because I love you!

You are all my world. Before and after each one of you I thought my world was complete.

Thankfully God knew that without each and every one of you my life was far from complete!There is nothing in this world that I would ever trade for you!

I am sorry that I am sometimes not as attentive as you want...need me to be.

I am sorry that sometimes I am selfish and want you to go to bed...sleep, earlier...faster.

I am sorry for the times that I have taken for granted with you. Moments when I was with you but not really there.

I am sorry I don't listen more. I am sorry that I correct and discipline sometimes too harshly.

I am sorry that I don't play more.

I am sorry for times I have chosen to nap or go out instead of playing with you.

There are a million reasons why I can apologize to you 4! Daily it seems I add to that list.

I can only say I am sorry!

You are all wonderful children who daily strive to make me want to be a better person and parent!

I love looking at the world through your eyes! I love your trusting insticts, your faith, your love, your thirst for life and learning!

May each and every one of you always know Gods love like you do today! May you always be filled with His grace. His ability to forgive. May you never question His love for you, instead always rely on the knowledge that He only wants what is best for you!

Life is not easy, but with God as your foundation, with the unconditional love and support from me, with the bond and love of each other; life will always be worth it!

I don't know what the future holds for each of you, but I certainly know that my love will always be a constant. I know that regardless of where you go and what you do in life, I am proud to be your mommy. I know that each of you have similiar traits, you are all giving, loving, caring, funny, kind people and that your differences make you unique and the wonderful persons you are!
You 4 are the best kids in the world and I know I don't often tell you but man, you make life fun and wonderful!


Dearest Katie

Wow! Is it possible you are 5? It is so hard for me to believe that!Your birth was the easiest, the most fun and memorable of all the kids. It is hard to fathom that was 5 years ago!
This is a big year for you my sweet girl. You are headed off to kindergarten soon. You are so excited to be going and ask daily when we can go buy your school supplies. You are so eagerly anticipating this new adventure. The strong face your present to the world. The independence that you show. You have no fear of heading off into Adam's school, conquering it and making your own life there with new friends. You will love school as you are so eager to learn and figure things out!

Yet, because you are most like me. I know that there is a small part of you that is nervous...scared. It's okay sweetie! Every new step in life is scary but almost all are worth it!I wonder what changes this year will bring for you and Becca. You 2 have become even closer this year sharing your princess bedroom! I do hope and pray that your closeness remains in spite of you going off to "big girl" school!The change in your from 4-5 wasn't as dramatic as 3-4. Your personality hasn't changed much, only increased! You are more dependent, determined. You love more deeply and get frustrated just as easily. You are vibrant, outgoing, joyful, full of life. You have always been giving andthoughtful adn this year that too has grown. Every time you go to the store, you point out things other people would like, not thinking of yourself even when you have your won money!You are the perfect tomboy. Some years you will not like that, but it really is a great way to live! You love to put on and wear make-up, dresses, high heels. You love to have your nails done and be dainty. Yet, with freshly manicured fingers, your hair in pig tails and a dress on, you can almost always be found outside finding and loving bugs! There isn't a bug in the world that you won't pick up, want to name and keep forever! You have such a loving heart to all things God has created! You equally love to garden and plant things! There is no such thing as too much dirt to you!Embrace these qualities in you Katie for they will be major attributes as you grow!You out of the 4 are the most passionate. About life, love, animals, the world, learning! Never change that!!! Passion, caring, love and kindness are some of the best traits you can have!
There is never a day where I am not thankful for you! It is my first prayer in the morning and last prayer at night, I thank God daily for you and know that you complete my life!I am never more proud as when you call me mommy!
I love you Bean!