writing

I LOVE WORDS! I think I love written words better than spoken ones.

It seems there is more honesty in writing. There is a comfort in being able to express yourself fully without another person staring at you... in being able to have time to compose your thoughts...in deleting the words you didn't mean to say or don't come out how you mean them.

I find that for me the reader there is a peace in reading someone's writing, especially as it is directed at you! I feel as though I have the chance to compose my thoughts...to plan my rebuttle...to think through how the writer may actually be feeling.

It seems there is less anger in written words. There is less of a chance to say something you may not mean. There is more thought.

This is why I blog.... why I text..... why I write letters!!!

If you have been on the receiving end of a blog, letter, text or have sent me one of the above lately... know that I cherish every word!!!!! :)

Writing

I remember back in middle school, sitting next to my BFF and writing letters, notes, poems... back and forth, together. With all the tender innocence of 13 year old girls in love and/or heartbroken, we used writing as a way to express our feeling.

While I am sure those sweet words would make me laugh today, at the time, they were very serious.

When I was a teenage, my mom and I would write notes to each other. Some would be as simple as me asking to do something. Others more serious in the form of an apology. Some letters were sweet thanks you's for something that had been done and yet others were honest, maybe too much so, and filled with all the problems and dilemma's of teenage angst.

In school, I reveled in the joy of writing papers, poems, essay's. The words, when written from my heart or on a subject I knew, flowed from my fingers, mind. Sometimes, I could not type fast enough to keep up with the thoughts in my brain.

As a young adult, I broke up via a letter to a boyfriend/roommate. Sweetly, I proclaimed my love and asked for his in return via a letter to what would become my future husband. Even while attending college full-time and working full-time, I still found time to write letters to my husband.

It was no surprise then that when I found out I was pregnant, I immediately began a journal for the baby. Determined was I to capture my feelings on every moment related to the growing miracle of life inside me. And when that miracle was born too early, when that miracle went home to be with our Father, well, I wrote about that too. Writing was the one place I felt I could try to make sense of the beauty and pain in my life.

For many years after that, I got busy having more children, raising them, teaching, being a wife and barely managing time to breath. Writing, along with many other things in life, got put on hold!

For some people, their very breath depends on making tv shows, helping others, music, exercise, sleep. While I will admit that I have a definite addiction to music, sleeping and exercise, I can not live without writing. For me, writing is cathartic. My safe haven to be myself. My outlet to say the things I can't in person, to express the things I may keep inside. It is also where I share the funny things in my life. The pictures that make up my world. The joy that God has blessed me with.

I guess it is no surprise then that I stumbled across blogging and immediately felt like I was home! Someone asked me once, why do I blog? Why do I want to share my life with the world? Quite honestly, it never occured to me that I was sharing it with the world. Rather, for me blogging is what I do for me. Just like exercising and sleeping, I do this for me and me alone.

Writing is where I make sense of life's difficulties. I write down and "forget" my problems, worries, complaints. Whether anyone reads them or not, is of little consequence to me. Many times, I write down either electronically or on paper, things that are on my mind and then immediately, delete or throw those thoughts away. Not wanting to save them for another day, they are "forgotten".

I have taken some grief over the past couple years about things I have written. Some posts have caused people to become concerned about me. Others have encited anger, compassion, love. I relish that my simple words envoke some, any, type of emotion in people. I am amazed, honestly...truly...amazed, that there are so many people who take time out of their busy day to read the things I have to say....

With that being said....writing is who I am....just like being a mother, wife, friend, daughter, being a writer, even if only for myself, is part of who I am...

So when you wonder why I blog, why I put it out there for the world, it really is as simple as saying, because I can not, not do it! I blog for me, because I have to write. I post because I enjoy your responses, because I enjoy letting you into this chaos we refer to as fun. The fact that any of you take the time to read these posts, respond to them, laugh or cry with me, is just the sprinkles on the icing on the cake!

I hope you all enjoy reading my blog as much as I enjoy writing it! Thanks

Attention stretch marks

While I do have millions of them (yep, fun game I play with DH is to try and find them all) J.U.S.T. K.I.D.D.I.N.G P.E.O.P.L.E!! I am not going where you think I am with this post.

I am introducing myself to Melissa Lee at Stretch Marks. Hi, my name is Tracy and I love the lived in look.

I am introducing you bloggy readers (all 3 of you) to Melissa because, well she beat me to the punch today. I think somehow she heard my thoughts, maybe she has my house bugged as I may recall expressing one or two of these feelings out loud lately.

While I may not agree with you on the sushi or lost, I am totally with you on the scrapbooking and sewing. I also have to admit being in total agreement with AG, Oh what a world it would be if Jack Bauer ran it, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yep, I am right there with him when we get the 2 hour teaser on Sunday the 23rd. The kids will be in bed an hour early so every last excuse for being up is completed and all are dreaming peacefully. I.AM.WAITING.FOR.REDEMPTION!

I digress, sorry. Melissa Lee thanks for saying it better than I could have and saving me the time to work on some more laundry in the process.

Michelle, Teri, Kim - don't leave me for her. I know where you live or go to church.

Everyone else, hop on over and enjoy today's post.

http://reallybadhairday.blogspot.com/2008/11/even-canker-sore-needs-little-tlc-and.html

P.S. If anyone wants to teach me how to get a link to appear with another word instead of the url that would be awesome? Does that make sense? lemme know.

Bye

I am not sure which has me more excited?

Saying goodbye to the elections commercials (7 days away)?

Saying goodbye to the scary/annoying Halloween commercial (3 days away)

Saying goodbye to the erectile dysfunction drug commercials during the world series games my 7 yr old is watching (??? days away, go Rays, sorry Philly fans)

Saying goodbye to all the garage sale JUNK slowly eating away my precious den (4 days away)

I CAN'T WAIT TO SAY GOODBYE!!!! WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Peek

Did ya think I forgot about ya? N.E.V.E.R.

Do you forgive me for being busy? Hope so.

Really, I am just trying to figure out the ever changing schedule of life. Now with the 2 oldest in school, even part time, I am enjoying and staying busy with the twins. Honestly, I am just being a fly on the wall of their world these days. When left alone with the older 2 to bother them, guess what? THEY. PLAY. NICE! The love to play hide and seek. B loves to mother J. They both love to jump on mommy. Ahhhhhhhhh!

I LOVE THEM ALL! I miss the older 2 when they are in school. BUT, it sure is nice to have time with just the babies because really, they are very quickly growing away from babies.

On that note, I am stunned and refusing to admit that A is going to be 7 on Thursday. I'm sorry, what????? 7 REALLY???? Are we sure? That's what the birth certificate tells me. WOW!!!!

Look for letter to little man to be coming soon.

I haven't forgot about designated days either, just let me get caught up (does that ever really happen?) on housework, sorting clothes, running errands, etc and then I will be back!

Soon. I promise. I miss posting and reading other blogs. I am having withdraws!!!!

I wanna

be like you... The other blogging moms!

I want designated blog days!

I want to do it all and still seemingly love to blog!

I want readers!

I want to be funny and creative, fulfilling and cute!

BUT (dumh, dumh, dumh) . . .

I don't want to be a copy cat!

I don't want to dread designated days!

I don't want to disappoint when you realize I can't and sometimes don't love to do it all!

I don't want crazy/weird people readers!

I don't want to be predictable and boring, pragmatic and basic.

HOWEVER (again, dumh, dumh, dumh) . . .

I am going to try to be unique!

I am going to try designated days!

I am going to try to do it all and love it!

I am going to try not to attract weird people, because I have enough of them in my life!

I am going to try to be more creative and cute!

AND (enough already) . . .

I will be different in my own right!

I will have designated days!

I will not stick to my routine always, I will probably deviate from it more than stick to it!

I will love it!

I will attract weird people because I attract them in real life!

I will be pragmatic, boring, funny and fulfilling!

Sink or swim? Fly or fall? Can I do it? Stick with me to find out!!!

Behold the power of 10...

What is a girl to do? My "I love other people's blogs" list has hit the big 0. Ok, this is a family blog people, I do mean the big 1-0 mark. So while it seems I need a life instead of living vicariously though all of you, I realized that you are not the only favorite thing in my life that has hit the big 1-0 mark.
I currently have 10 favorite TV shows (gasp)! Yes, count them 10. In order of, yes I will drop what I am doing and watch (or at the very least make sure the DVR is rolling) they are: 24, prison break, the unit, how I met your mom, rules of engagement, the office, til death, csi, big brother, and yes, jon and kate plus 8.
I suppose you can only be shocked at this if you know that a mere 10 (are you seeing a pattern here) years ago, I didn't even watch TV. At the time I was so busy furthering my education and finishing my degree (that I currently don't use:-) that I thought TV was really only for watching when a hurricane was headed your way! I use to feel sorry for my parents for having no life and staying at home all the time watching TV. Yes, you see my friends that while I was married, we had a life!!!!!!!
It was a gradual addiction, my love of TV. A little news here, a snapshot of a show there. Then. We. Had. Kids... Ok, I am not saying that my children are to blame for my current addiction to TV anymore than they are for the few extra pounds I carry around, I'm just suggesting that they helped! Thank God for me that not everything in my life revolves around the number 10! If you are reading this and you have 10 kids, you are my hero!!!I digress. You may ask yourself how we went from 10 favorite TV shows to 10 favorite blogs. Enter summer 2008. Other than BB10, there has been nothing on TV, except for the occasional hurricane threat. I was bored in my "I have small children and must be home after 7:30 pm for bedtime so therefor I have no life" life.
My favorite pastime even before TV is reading. I LOVE to read! I am nosey. So you see how this has occurred, right.
It all started innocently enough (sort of like having children). The first one is so cute and funny and can do no wrong. You decide to add another and well, before you have a handle on it you are up to 4 (kids and this is where we stop) and 10 blogs.
So, I am throwing this out to the blogosphere, I AM STOPPING AT 10!!!! You can not force me to have more, I don't care how good you are you should have beat out the other 9.
Time for an honesty break, 1 of the blogs on my favorites is also mine, so I guess there is room for 1 more, ANY TAKERS?????
But that is it. I STOP AT 10!!!!! So my challenge to my 10 favorite blogs is this, write up because when my other love comes back, I am not sure what a girl will do.

this novice is learning

Wow! a few weeks ago I thought to myself, I have such great idea's or at the very least a crazy enough life that I might be able to keep one or two people in the world entertained; or at the very least someone other than my myspace friends. Well, I have kept people entertained or at least evoked some kind of emotions of the last few posts, so goal accomplished. Well, little miss I thought I knew what I was doing was shocked tonight to discover that I have barely begun to dive into the world of blogging. I read the blogs of 2 girls from my church (one a friend and one a could become?) and they have things on their blog site that I didn't even know existed (outside of myspace). They have songs, pictures, graphics, quotes, links. I am not sure I can even handle the excitement at adding some more of myself to my thoughts!!! Then I thought, because my head was getting so full of myself...err I mean my newly attained knowledge that I would join an additional blog site such as momdot. Well, let's just say I have been HUMBLED!!! When I read some of the posters out there I realize that maybe I am not nearly as entertaining as I thought?! Oh well, I originally started this for myself and will continue to blog for the fun of it and as an outet to my crazy life. Now, let me state that I am not feeling overwhelmed just simply by other people's post but more by their ability to UNDERSTAND how in the heck to and why I need to download wordpress. Suffice it to say, I DON'T GET IT!!!! So, now that my head is a little smaller than it was a couple weeks ago, I hope some of you readers are still here on the easy to use, prettied up blogger.com!