Why am I a Christian?

Did I even have a choice, the Lord called me to be his child, He spoke my name.

I am a child of God because I know I can NOT walk this world with out my Father's guidance and love.

I am a child of God because I know the joy of always having my Father around, always be able to speak to him, to know that he hears me, he answers my prayers.

I know that of my own flesh I am incapable of having enough patience, love, grace and forgiveness.

I am a Christian because I can freely admit that I do bad things daily but I am forgiven them; I also know that my father loves me unconditionally.

I am a Christian because I know that I am a better person when I make my Father happy, when I do his will and tell of his love.

I am a Christian because I know that there is a better place, I know that when the end comes I will go home.

I am a Christian because He has called me to teach my children of his love and mercy.

I am a Christian because I know the road is not easy, the best things in life never are, but the reward is worth it.

I am a Christian because He loves me, because He called me.

SUPER WAY TMI..........

I snuck in here a few minutes ago.

Quiet amidst the chaos.

Peace amongst the noise.

Alone within the house full of people I call family.

I was hoping to read me some pioneer woman.

I wonder how long it would take someone to notice, the cord no longer attached to the computer.

Bellowing as if from the heavens, "DID YOU TAKE THE LAPTOP IN T.H.E.R.E?"

Giggling and slightly meek, "Yeeeeeeees........................."

The Bellow again "R.E.A.L.L.Y?????????"

More giggle, no meekness, "Yep"

Again with the voice from the heavens, "YOU NEED HELP!"

Through the laughter "What difference would it make if it were a book or the laptop?"

If you are still following this post, here is where it gets funnier (assuming you have found the humor thus far in the bathroom/laptop/bellowing journey)

Bellow man "YOU ARE ADDICTED"

Little man "She's DIPPING IT????????" "G.R.O.S.S."

Laughter and Bellow simultaneously "No, she is/I am A.D.D.I.C.T.E.D"

Little man "Oh, ok, carry on"!

This is when I have to exit my quiet haven, my silent oasis, my solitary nirvana. The echoing of my laughter has ruined my moment with pioneer woman and Marlboro man!

Guess I will have to reread that chapter when the kids are in bed and the laughter has ended.

For the record, I really was just having Ree (and mm) withdraws (I am at the part where she has decided to stay in Texas)! For the record, I have really small closets and nobody ever questions your alone time in "there", right? That is the 11th commandment, Right?

Anyone?

Hello?

Anyone?

Dang, I knew I lost ya.......... I thought it was TMI

Will you come back? Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Be forwarned, I am sure to offend!

I would like to start with an apology to those of you I am about to offend.


I really wanted to write a blog and give a tongue lashing to some of my fellow bloggers for their willingness to speak such hateful words against another person. My head races with the words that I want to say about how judgemental you seem. My heart cries for how you appear to other people, Christian's, Muslim's, nonbelievers.


After I read some blogs last night via blogger and myspace, then I read some more this morning, I felt uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I can't not even find the right word!


I know that most of you were just expressing your personal opinion, something we all do and have the right to. I respect that we do not all like the same people. I did not vote for the man that you all speak of so negatively. However, I can not sit here and say I am a Christian and then say that I hate him for this or I think he desecrated the bible when he was inaugurated. I can tell you there are policies I have read about that he seems to agree with that I do not. But I can not and will not attack his personal character and moral fiber based on what the media feeds me. Only he and God know their relationship together! I will trust in the Lord, I will watch the man in action and I will pray for him. To do anything less would make me a hypocrite!


Lastly, I will leave you with the admittance that I know very little bible verses by heart and the ones I will post below came from the service at church last week. Do with them what you will!


Matthew 7:1-6
Proverbs 6:16-21
Galatians 5: 26 and 6:5

"Hate the sin, not the sinner"


Political and religious....MOM, help, I am forgetting my manners! Your grandkids might need you to come visit soon...quickly...now (before I throw in some sex, hey, anything is possible:)!!!!

bittersweet

As with most things in my life, I am not very vocal about my politicalness.

Call it growing up under the adage "You never discuss, politics, religion, or sex in mixed company"

But... sometimes I forget my manners.

Let's talk about sex baby....................................

J.U.S.T. K.I.D.D.I.N.G.


Let's talk politics, because, really on this inaugural day, is there really anything else to talk about?

Let's start with George. How is he feeling? Really feeling? Is he sad to see it end? Excited that he is no longer sleeping with the weight of the country/world on his shoulders? Grateful for the chance? Bitter of the circumstances that quickly followed and ended up shaping his otherwise perfectly thought out presidency? Hoping to be re-liked? Disappointed that he is seemingly not? Calm that he did my Father's will? Nervous of how he will be remembered?

I have to think that him leaving is akin to us releasing our children when they are grown. They are always ours. We can always call and give advice, but ultimately, we are no longer in control. We can look back on the memories, both good and bad and know that decision we made, we did the best we could with what we had. We raised, shaped, loved, errored, learned right along with our children. I know how difficult this can be with 1, 2, 3, 4 kids. Imagine having millions of kids. Whether you like President Bush or not, think of the difficult task he was handed. How would you have handled it? It is easy to sit on your couch and think about what you would have done, but with other personalities influencing and stopping you, think about what you could have, would have done. Mostly remember that he is HUMAN too. The presidency is not a job I would ever want, I have a hard enough time running a house for 6. I admire anyone who aspires to this position. I wish you hugs, prayers and luck President Bush. You lead us through times this country never thought they would see. I personally admire the man you are. You have always stood by your convictions, you have never waivered in your beliefs and you have lead this country with your strongest desire to see us through to safety and love! Thank you for all you gave us. While hindsight is 20/20 may you leave today with nothing but well wishes for your follower. May you have great memories of your "child rearing" years and may you enjoy your "empty nest" as well.

Obama, as you were standing in the hall of the capital getting ready to walk out and be sworn in as president, what was going through your mind? Were you nervous? Did you have second thoughts? Because even the most seasoned parent gets slightly nervous over the impending birth of their next child. Were you elated and relieved that the moment was finally here? Were you praying that you fulfill His desire? Were you praying you didn't trip walking out?

As I said before, I don't envy you. Yours will be a lonely job. Lonely in spite of being surrounded by many. No one other than yourself will truly know what you are going through. Even those who have forged before you will not have had the same experiences and problems. You will have advisers, friends, employees and Michelle, but you will be alone. I imagine this office takes a certain courage and faith in the unknown. You are an eloquent speaker, a man with many dreams and beliefs in all things equal. I hope and pray you can unite a nation that defines a person by the color of their skin and the belief of their God. I wish you Godspeed and good luck! May you prove critics and naysayers wrong, may you gain the support of those who voted against you and those who are unsure. May you be the man your supporters think you are!!!!

Now unto the religion and sex.............................................................

I.

I.

I AM ...thinking that it is getting late, 24 rocked and I really should get to bed.
I WANT... it to warm up because now that I have decided to get a tattoo, I wanna do it now!
I HAVE ... hoped that ex-boyriends have facebooked or myspaced me and wished they hadn't let me go, yep, sure have!
I WISH I COULD ... be as brave as my kids think I am.
I HATE ... sweeping the kitchen floor, pea's, pettiness and my nose.
I FEAR ... roller coasters, big ones. TERRIBLY.
I HEAR ... the giggling and loudness of my kids and love it.
I SEARCH ... for long adjectives, big words, my pre-mommy brain and body while still being a mommy.
I DON'T THINK ... sometimes I just don't.
I REGRET ... nothing, for everything got me to where I am.
I LOVE ... my life, really, in spite of the improvements I want, it is an awesome place to be.
I ACHE FOR ... for everyone I know to have the relationship I do with my FATHER.
I ALWAYS CRY ... the week before, over stupid things.
I AM NOT ... weak. At all.
I DANCE ... for my kids...to be silly...to feel better...with no one watching.
I SING ... horribly, but I love to.
I NEVER ... go a day without worrying or obsessing about something. Not ever. Not a day. Although I REALLY want to.
I RARELY ... am on time. TRULY try to be, but...
I CRY WHEN I WATCH ... video's of my children's birth, and at least 2 ER's a season.
I AM NOT ALWAYS ... awake.
I HATE THAT ... I never have enough to give to whatever cause I want.
I'M CONFUSED ABOUT ... the purpose of roaches, the scent that comes from my children and yo gabba gabba.
I NEED ... to color more.
I SHOULD ... find a way to do less laundry.



JUST THOUGHT YOU'D WANNA KNOW!

Tagged, thanks angela

WooHoo!

For the record, I love being loved!!!

I also love comments, but I get very few of those. (I try not to take it personal)

BUT...I have been shown some love today.

I have been tagged. No, not by Jason's sticky hands or Adam's school yard game.

I have been tagged by fellow blogger, 4h-er, church goer and friend, Angela. Angela has tagged me to provide you guys with a picture. My instructions were VERY simple. Go to the 4th folder in my pics and pic out the 4th pic. Being that I am a good girl who follows directions and loves to play games, away I went.

Nervously!

Not because I have indecent pictures on my computer. HA! But because, photography is not my forte. I am not bad at it, but it is a good thing I have a digital camera. I am constantly snapping in hopes that the kids will sit still, look at me, smile and well just generally be perfect for a moment so I can capture the moment I wanted it to be.

BUT, in keeping it real, that doesn't happen. So I thank the maker of the DELETE button regularly because only God knows what blurry where's waldo pic you might have gotten.

Here is what you really get

No photoshop needed. A picture in motion and you can see the subjects! Go me!!

This is the part where I am suppose to describe the picture, but really I think it would be more fun to get your take.

Sorry Angela, I said I follow the rules, I didn't say that I wouldn't make it my own a little!

Lastly, I am suppose to tag the person who sent it to me and tag 4 people to send it to, B.U.T. I DON"T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! HELP! and really if I did I don't think there are 4 people who read my blog that have their own blog that would participate. :( I NEED BLOGGY FRIENDS!!!!

In the meantime, thanks Angela, it was fun!

Redbook got me thinking...

There was an article today in the Redbook magazine that I was reading at the gym, hey anything to get me away from thinking about the torture that I am enduring... but I digress... Now I can not tell you what the article was about. I.DON'T.HAVE.A.CLUE. but the following phrase caught my attention

"Write down 3 traits you like most about yourself and but them in your wallet, so if you are having a bad day, you can have a quick, pick me up"

This got me to thinking (again, taking my mind off the torture). What would I, ME, TRACY, write about MYSELF!

{{{{{{{{ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Now, this is not self depreciating in the sense that I want you complimentary comments. SO.NOT.THE.PURPOSE.OF.TODAYS.BLOG. While I love your compliments normally and flattery will get you everywhere, don't patronize me today by complimenting me}}}}}}}}

What 3 traits would I write about myself. I spent the better part of the afternoon trying to come up with an answer.

#1. My eyes. The color and the feelings that they convey.
#2. My

Wow! I am stuck at #1. Is that suppose to happen? Darn.

Would it be easier to write what I won't put and why? Hmmmmmmmmm....

#1. My body... do I really need to say why?
#2. My kindness, in I would give you the shirt of my back, except see #1. I am not so much in the position anyone wants to see the shirt off my back.
#3. My patience...I pray nightly for more...with 4 kids can I ever have enough?
#4. My honesty...is not sharing everything still considered being honest?
#5. My ability to forgive...did I mention that I can/will/do hold a grudge?
#6. My fairness...yea, right. I will admit is, I judge, myself, others, people I have no right to (Hey, I am not perfect, I pray nightly for my shortcomings, I am working on them)
#7. My sense of humor...ummm, yea sometimes you don't want to know what weird things I find funny!
#8 My ability to sing...Even the church would ask me not to sing but rather hum!
#9. My unwavering belief in what can not be seen..except, I question UFO's, unicorn's and the goodness of anything that smells bad.
#10. My ability to love...that is what got me in trouble with food, debt and 4 kids, oops, sorry this is a family blog, right.

Seems, I am not doing much in the area of pick me up....

Then I went back and looked at my list, picking apart each one individually and here is what I came up with.

#1. My eyes, because yes, I do like them, thanks for asking! As for the rest of my body, the parts I don't like. I have made peace with them. There are 4 reason's they are that way. Adam, Katie, Becca and Jason. You have done indescribable things to my body but even more to my heart, so thank you!
#2. My kindness. Hey it may not be pretty, but really, if you need my shirt, it is yours! Just close your eyes!
#3. My patience. I am not Job. I do pray for more...but I do have more than a lot of people I know.
#4. My honesty, I have learned when to share and when to hold back. I have also learned that being honest does not always mean not lying, sometimes it means telling you what you need/want to hear. Sometimes it means protecting your feelings and heart.
#5. My ability to forgive. I can/do forgive. In.My.Own.Time. Some things in life are better not rushed. Cookies, pregnancy and forgiveness.
#6. My fairness. Being fair doesn't mean giving/treating everyone the exact same. It means treating everyone the way they personally deserve to be treated. Treating everyone with the love and respect that is unique to them.
#7. My sense of humor. I can laugh at myself, you, my kids. Even more, I can make you laugh. It may not always be appropriate. Often I speak before I think and this my friends is just funny...at least to me.
#8. My ability to sing. I am so good that even the local dogs join in! Hey, my kids love it!!!!!!
#9. My unwavering belief in what can not be seen, hey, I don't know everything, only He does and at least the smell lets me know that a diaper change is needed!
#10. Lastly, my ability to love...deeply. For better or worse, if you are invited in, you are here to stay.

So, I guess Redbook was good for something, other than keeping me from focusing on the torture occurring! It made me realize that I may not be the best person on the earth, but I can admit my faults, I aim to improve them, can laugh while doing so and I am definitely not the worst!!!! And, while I am TOTALLY IMPERFECT, I actually do like me even though I can not count!!!!

What would Redbook tell you about yourself?