A room

with a smell view!!

***Disclaimer.........joyfully, there are NO before pictures***

1 boy + 1 girl = marital bliss + 1 2 bedroom house = domestic bliss + 1 baby boy and a baby girl on the way = remodel and addition.

A couple years of trying to conceive a sibling for Little man and the only result we had conceived was the blueprints for a bigger house. With construction underway (by Mr. Producer himself) for a growing house, a growing belly was soon to be. The end result of this construction would be a Master Suite for the executive producer and his farmer girl wife. I use the term Master Suite loosely as our "little" love shack left no room for a bathroom to be added to this Master Suite no matter how we longed for one! What the master suite lacked in bathroom ability, it would make up for in love! This was to be our room, and our room only! The Little Man that crept into our bed at night would not be permitted to continue his nocturnal wanderings. HAHAHA! It would happen....when a screaming baby arrived on the scene :)

The room built in time to move in with plenty of room for my ever expanding belly and I couldn't have been happier. As time passed, we added an antique cradle to the bedroom...the 2nd clue, our room was not to be our own....for a VERY long time!!!!

The plans made for this cute pink bundle of joy to be moved to her own room very quickly, like night 4 after her birth. Oh, the plans you have before you become a parent!

Amazing girl taught us very quickly that she had her own mind right from the beginning. This would be the first of many battles we lost!

Many, many, many months later (like 9/10) Amazing girl decided that she no longer needed mommy's body as her personal pacifier and went (not without protest) to her own room.

And oh how we celebrated!!!! We were finally ready to have our own room.....kid free (because we may have thought we were done having children)........JUST OURS!!!

Did I mention, we celebrated?

Well, yes and within a couple very short months, the world noticed that we celebrated! The larger I grow (very quickly I might add) the more noticeable it became that we had enjoyed our brief couple of months of privacy!!!!

Resigning ourselves to the acceptance of twins, we began to wonder where we would place 2 sweet, breastfed all night long, squawking, squirming deliveries the stork would be bringing. Which room, Little Mans or Amazing girls would house the 2 creatures? Which room would best provide me the ability to feed them at night, with as much help as I could get? Which room would provide the farthest space away from other children to allow them to sleep through the night?

Well, there really was only one solution.....OURS!

The cradle, much to small for twins, that had just recently been removed was now replaced by a full size crib! OH MY!!!!! We really are having twins, and yes, they really will be living in our house!

So begins the very quick downhill slide of us losing our HAVEN!

Little Momma and The Baby resided in our room for about 6 months, then they were given the boot!

Yet, somehow they never really left and instead were joined by the other 2.

Saturday morning snuggle, tickle and giggle times (yes, people, I am talking about with the kids) were enjoyed and even welcomed. Sick children were placed in our bed, because well honestly, its easier and mommy is lazy :) Nap time snuggles with various offspring were cherished moments. The new puppy would be safest in her crate in our room. Time outs were easier in our room, no toys to play with. TV time alone for Little Man would be rewarded in our room. Bugs getting into the Christmas decorations in the shed, no problem, store it in our room. The old 32" TV would certainly provide more comfortable viewing in our room. My exercise equipment (that gets used all the time...by the kids :) would best be stored in our room. Laundry folded or in the process of, would get thrown on our bed.

You get the idea, our room, became the storage area where we would, after clearing off the bed at night, fall into a dream filled sleep.

I share a 1100sq ft house with 5 other people, a dog and a cat.....I began to LOOOOONG for and NEED a room of my own. We fixed the lock on the door, determine to keep little people out, but they still managed to get in, sometimes being more of an interruption than a welcomed guest.

It would seem the more I longed for my own private retreat, the more they tried to get in. I once again caved and had an open door policy....everything else lived in there, why shouldn't the kids come and go as they pleased too?!

As any of my close friends, that I actually allowed into the inner sanctum of disgust can attest to, our bedroom was in serious need of a make-over!!!!

Mr. Producer has listened to me whine, cry, plead, yell, threaten ask for a while that we please make them go away take our room back!!!!

One day a couple weeks ago, he informs me that he has an anniversary surprise for me that requires me to be out of the house....alone....ALL DAY!!!!! Wooohoooo!!!! I don't even care what the surprise is when he informs me that he wants me to have a manicure, pedicure, lunch and shopping with my friends!!!

As the day in question got closer, little pieces of my surprise were revealed....he wanted my input on a new comforter set (to replace the one that had been "colored" on with permanent marker by "not me") and he might have let it slip that he was putting in new carpet (to replace what the dog though of as her potty training pad) and oh ya, he is building something?! I am giddy, elated and curious at the thought of getting new sheets and carpet that doesn't carry the fragrance of urine and something my master woodworker is building. Again, I whine, cry, plead, threaten ask him to please let me in on the surprise! He does NOT cave! So, wait I must!

Boy oh boy, the wait was so worth it!!!!!!

Below are pictures of the product of my surprise....

We have a new policy, with a door that actually locks.....NO KIDS ALLOWED......Let me repeat this in case you missed it the 1st time around.......NO CHILDREN, KIDS, OFFSPRING, RUGRATS ALLOWED. Even our friends, after the initial inspection, will NOT BE ALLOWED!!! Sorry guys, I love you all, but this is finally my haven, my retreat, my resort room (minus the maid). Quite honestly, I may never come out (except for the bathroom)....yep, I may even have to kids pass me food under the door.

All I can say is this.....yes, Mr. producer designed and built the furniture (headboard, dresser and nightstands) himself! and Yes, IT IS PERFECT AND BLISSFUL AND HEAVENLY AND I AM IN LOVE!!!! (and I may or may not have burst into tears when I saw it)



I quit

Dear chaosx4 family,

Please accept this letter of resignation dated today, January 17, 2011.

Effective immediately, I am tendering my resignation as your maid, referee, taxi, laundress and yep, even cook.

I hereby delegate my duties to anyone willing to overtake them. Should no one apply for this position, as shocking as that would be, I declare you old enough to be the supervisors of said jobs yourself.

It has taken me many years to accept that perhaps I am no longer fit or was ever really qualified for this position.

To anyone looking to accept this position in my absence, please be aware that the hours are long, there is no salary, very limited benefits and rare gratitude's of thanks.

You will need to begin immediately, and even when you think the day is done, one of them are bound to need you in some capacity even in the middle of the night. They will need you to be willing to wash about 8 loads of laundry a week, prepare 3 meals a day and 2 snacks, transport them to fun events, school and church. Referring will be a HUGE portion of your day. There will be many he said/she said/he did/she did rumors through out the day, that can be taxing to even the most patient of people. You will be required to remember where shoes, clothes, toys and even homework you did not wear, see, touch or do have been left and to find said items as you are walking out the door, in the rain, with no coffee. In addition to no salary, you will always have to have immediate cash on hand for borrowed lunch money for milk and ice cream, in spite of the fact that you did pack them a lunch. You will also be asked numerous times for candy, gum and other unmentionables they know full well they may not have. You will no longer engage in conversation, but rather your vocabulary will consist of simple questions, such as: was that kind? Do you need to use the restroom? Where is your brother or sister? Has anyone let the dog out to go potty? Who drew on the wall? do you have and where is your homework, agenda, planner? Could someone please help so and so? Do you need a spanking? Are you listening and did you hear me?

I will continue to reside in the residence of employment and will be willing to answer any questions you may have. However, you can easily ask your employees as at ages 9, 5, and almost 4, they seem to know and have the answers to everything.

It is with my deepest regret that I have to hand in this resignation. I have tried my hardest day after day to be more than just an average executive. I have provided ample time for play, for extracurricular activities, for learning, for discipline, for giving and most certainly for loving. I have taxied the employees in question to numerous parties, sporting events, school functions, play dates and church services.

I have tried to instill good values, polite manners and a love of humanity in them. I have tried numerous times to show them the beauty in being quiet.

Please be advised though that these are hard employees to teach and train, an attribute that they may find useful later in life, but difficult to deal with as they are growing (between you and I , I am pretty sure they get this from their paternal side of the family ;)

I wish you all the best in your new endeavor and look forward to watching you with them in action.

Please understand that they are wonderful employees. They are cute with a great sense of humor. They can be very intuitive, understanding when you have reached your limit, they will often "step-up" and perform admirably. When they want to, they can be kind, helpful, loving almost angelic even. They are very lovable, they do say please and thank you often, even yes and no ma'am and sir. They have the cutest grins, they sing well, have I mentioned they are funny? No, actually they are hilarious. They will make you laugh often and much!!!! They also give THE BEST hugs and kisses and cuddles.........................................

On second thought....they may be sloppy, they may not appreciate folded laundry or clean dishes, but what they lack in those departments, they make up for in love.....................

So, sorry to disappoint any applicants rushing to the door to take over my unpaid, sometimes unappreciated executive position, but I have decided to recant my resignation!

Happy Anniversary Mr. Producer

Laying in bed listening to you softly snore and watching you sleep. I can't help but think I am a lucky girl!


With every couple friend we have that gets divorced I can't help but reflect on our marriage.

It is not perfect, Lord knows sometimes it seems its been equal parts work and love. But, truthfully, there is no one else I would rather work at and love with than you!

Sometimes I think of all the things we have not in common and wonder what we do.

And then it hits me... does it really matter?

I relax by playing on the computer or reading, you by watching tv.
I am more assertive...take charge, you are more laid back.
I am more social...outgoing, you are more introverted...a homebody.
I am more practical day to day, you are more of a dreamer.
I am more concrete, you are more abstract.

Yet, in spite of these differences, we have something in common that is more important than our children even... We have our love of each other!


And in the end, that is what it is all about. Being in love with each other! Everything else is just a bonus!

I love you, when we agree and when we don't, when we are happy and fun and when life gets in the way, when we are being silly or when we are being serious, when we are rich (ok maybe that hasn't happened yet but it will someday:) or when we are poor, when you are home or away...

Thank you for 13 wonderful years and for giving me the most beautiful perfect space ever in which to celebrate, relax and enjoy!!!!

I LOVE YOU, I hope you never doubt that and always know just how very much I DO!

I am the master of.....

1-4-11

Today was the day. I woke up full of excitement at getting to go back to alma mater to start my masters degree...even if the visit was only a check-in with my academic adviser. I got dressed, yep jeans and a t-shirt...hey I am a college student again after all, dropped off the kids and headed to the interstate. My confidence was high! I spent a couple years there, sure I expected some changes, but i am the mother of 4 kids so I'm not easily intimidated :) The drive there was a piece of cake, my swagger wagon did it on almost autopilot. I'm minding my own business, radio loud, I may or may not have been singing along :) I pull into what used to be my standard parking area and this is where I realize some things might have changed!!

#1....parking is now all metered....gulp, no more free parking, man this education is getting more expensive, I wonder if the cost of parking there night after night, week after week, can be added to my financial aid. Alrighty then, I pull into a parking space, oblivious to the fact that one of my greedy snot noses fab 4 has swiped almost all the change I had for milk at school. CRAP...... Do the meters take pennies? Ok, no sweat, my mother always taught me to keep a quarter in my wallet for an emergency phone call....from a pay phone, does anyone else remember those or am I dating myself? And yeppers, I still have one!!!! So I scrounge together a few nickles, maybe a lowly dime and I am good to go. This meeting better be quick...I got 45 minutes in my meter!

Obstacle 1.....OVERCOME!

Purse and school bag on my shoulder, swagger wagon doors shut (if you know me at all, having all 4 door actually shut can be a pretty big deal) and locked, confidence still high, off I go to Master the world!

#2 VERY BAD change.....there is a chick-fil-a...on campus...connected to the education building.... and we have already established that I HAVE to bring money weekly to pay for parking.....OH THIS isn't going to be good, just another "cost of education" to add to my financial aid!!!!

obstacle 2.....ignore Chick-fil-a sign (at least until after end of February)

#3 Um, wait a minute, where do I go now since they changed and added LOTS of new buildings? Ok, I will not look like a lost lonely student...I can conquer this. I look up and yes the education building, is still the education building...whew!

obstacle #3.....no problem!

#4 I arrive at my second floor destination by way of the stairs...yep, getting my exercise...really I did see the elevator and choose to NOT use it! I locate the correct room and door. I am greeted and introduce myself....only to discover that I am 45 minutes early.....W.H.A.T?????? Since when am I early for anything?? Okay, wait, way to make a great first impression, maybe it will never come out that I am a crazy mother of 4!! OH NO!!!!! I only have 45 minutes in my parking meter.....do I admit this or sit quietly and wait it out hoping I will get called early or at the very least no one will notice my expired meter?

obstacle #4...hope for the best and text to pass the time :)

#5 I am NOT called back early and I will NOT worry about it! I am finally called back, confidence still in check and worry over yet another added education cost in the form of a ticket, replaced by excitement to finally be advised. I walk in to the inner chambers of my academic advisor with her doctorate degree. I have my classes precisely picked out for the best nights of child care and activities and scheduling! Dum, Dum, Dum.... the classes I have picked, while they have no mandatory prereq....it is STRONGLY advised that I take the unofficial prereq. 1 online class and 1 classroom class. AW MAN! Mr. Producers schedule is best right now for 2 classroom classes.

Obstacle # 5...learn how to drop/add classes quickly!! This is just a minor setback!!

On the plus side, I love my academic advisor and never once think of the incurring parking ticket I am sure awaits me!

#6 Time to talk money... There is a grant for people like me (no, not old mothers of 4 who decided to go back to school because they are dorks not being challenged by 3rd grade fractions)!!!! Woohoooo.....free money baby!!!! (Side note, I still have yet to pay a penny for undergrad loans on account of Mr. Producer and I have both never worked at the same time since we decided to embark on the joyous journey of parenthood....hint, hint...next blog entry in the making). So even bigger Wooohoooo free money baby because I need more student loans like I need more kids!... Oh, dear Farmer girl (no, My AA does not call me this :) I am so sorry, but while your 3.7 GPA here at the university was beyond impressive, your I'm an early 20 something and don't care about these classes at JC GPA, was a little less than impressive. This grant takes into account your overall GPA, so I am very sorry, but you do not qualify!

Obstacle #6 Guess, I;ll be too busy paying off my students loans to actually help my own children through college....sorry guys!

Meeting adjourned, schedule mapped out for the next year. My academic advisor has increased my faltering confidence by accolades of my GPA at the university my determination to accomplish all goals in spite of having a life.

I nervously head out to my car, by way of Chick-fil-a (which happens to be closed, thankfully) because I may need a "make me feel better" treat. And holy, holy, holy...the miracle of all miracles... I have NOT been issued a ticket on my much expired meter!!!

Excitement rebounding, I call Mr. Producer to tell him all about my day. I am at least a Master of the drive there and home, if nothing else. I have done this so many times, I can do it with my eyes closed, so I can certainly talk and drive..... Or maybe NOT!

#7 I am so busy chatting my dear husbands ear off, that I miss the HUMONGOUS signs that say exit now, and I end up going across the bridge to the other side of the bay!!!!!!

Obstacle #7...I don't know whether to laugh, cry or quit at this point! Someone just point me to home and my babies, where they won't know my mistakes and still think I am the Master of our home!

From my little city to a bigger city to yet an even bigger one to home....from confidence, to unsure to embarrassment to confidence again... From I am making the right decision to I don't even know what I am cooking tonight for dinner let alone to what I will be doing in 2 years to making the right decision again....I AM HOME! I see the house where my babies are safely tucked inside away from the cold and I can not wait to hug them and not be reminded of the mistakes I made.

I walk in the door, arms wide open to Little Momma, who instead of saying hi mom, says....Did you go over the bridge and you forgot to bring my bike!!!!!

Once again, I am reminded that I am the Master of nothing, that life is a constant learning process, but one that despite its many obstacles, I dearly love and embrace!!!!!

If you have hung in there this long and are still reading, then you, my friend ARE the Master of either love, reading or boredom!!!

goodbye 2010

The anticipation of a new year always brings out the "do better" in all of us. Everyone makes resolution based on things they want to improve...lose weight, work less, laugh more, etc. While these thoughts sound wonderful on Dec 30, 31, Jan 1 and maybe even 2nd. By the 3rd, usually we have all fallen back into the same routine. While this is never an intentional decision, it just happens. And truthfully, there is nothing wrong with that. Half of self improvement comes from recognizing our weakness and accepting them.
I personally always make resolutions and well just as consistently fail to follow through with them! Its ok, i still make them and laugh.
2010 brought many good memories, lots of times with friends and family. We had many visits from the tooth fairy, many gray hairs added in the process of being a football mom and parent of a very rambunctious, curious 3 yr old boy, lots of laughs from the animation, antics and attitudes of my sweet daughter...yes i can laugh at their attitudes because i know they get them from me and i can see how ridiculous i look :) All the fab 4 kids are in school. This is bittersweet for me to say the least. Everything about my kids growing and learning is bittersweet! 2010 also brought a busier schedule for Mr. Producer and a return to the work force for me. Our schedules are busy and crazy and there is no way we could do it without the help of awesome family and friends. We are truly blessed.....and havent lost a kid yet ;)
2011 will bring with it an increase in the craziness. The health freak in me is training for a half marathon which i will attempt to survive the end of February. The nerd in me has been itching for some time to do homework harder than 3rd grade spelling and math.....so off to college i go...again. like so many things in life i swore i would never do, i am returning to my alma mater. 2011 will not see me graduate from there, im saving that for 2013...hey i gotta have something to talk about then!
For all of you...2010 brought some changes and 2011 will bring many more...some good, some bad. But if you're reading this than the one constant has been you being a part of our chaos! And we are glad for that!
2010 was a great year. Not perhaps the best ever, but definitely a great one. However, i am ready to start anew, resolutions made with every attempt to forget them in 3 days...so bring on 2011.

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Mr. Producers list of 5 things woman need to know!

I have hijacked farmer girls page! Don't tell her...shhh

I want to thank her for her insight into women...whether you're married or not yet, those were all helpful thoughts.

Now it's my turn. I'd like to give you woman the 5 things you need to know about us. This is my rebuttle on behalf of all men!

1. We CAN watch tv AND listen all at the same time...we just may not remember everything that was said....this applies to everything...we can do anything or nothing and still not remember everything that was said!

2. Dont critize us! No matter how many times we load the dishwasher, fold the laundry, go shopping....we will do it wrong! We don't mean to, we are really trying to help. Think of it as endearing and love us for it!

3,4,5... well, really there is no 3,4,5....just a 1 and 2. Yep, we really are that simple.

We are like a puppy...pat us on the head, throw us a treat (perhaps a bone ;) now and then (much more now than then, we could live on treats alone), let us do our business and we will in turn provide you with unconditional love...we may even wag our tag and slobber on you if your lucky :)

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M.E.N.....5 things you need to know!

So, tonight at the gym, on the treadmills next to me, two girls are in a very animated conversation. Being the nosy girl I am (please tell me this isn't a revelation to any of you), I pause my ipod (still one of the best inventions and gifts ever) to listen.
To sum up their conversation, they were complaining about the men in their lives (really, us women don't do that so I was just as shocked as you are)! I listened for a few (okay maybe a lot of) minutes to their complaints, ranging from not understanding us, to not helping with the house work, to a "need" that men seem to have more than women and I got to thinking.

I turned my music back on and in true ADD fashion changed songs many times. But, when I found my favorite song to run to, the one with a perfect beat, I began to zone out and think some more....hey a girl has to do something to make it to the 4 mile mark, right?

Okay men....pay attention! Here is the truth you have been dying to hear about us women........

WE  ARE  NOT  COMPLICATED  PEOPLE!

Really, we aren't!!

We have 5 basic needs...yep, just 5...and this is all woman, the strong, the quiet, the self sufficient, the needy....even if we say we don't.....and in no particular order, they are:

1. We need you to listen, not just hear! There is a BIG difference!

2. We need you to love us the way we are...don't point out our flaws, trust me....we know them!

3. We need you to help out with the housework, chores, kids...not because we tell you to, not because we ask....just do it!

4. We need romance...ok so flowers everyday is a bit much, but a rose once in a while just for us will go a long way (more on that later ;)....so will a deep kiss or a compliment.

5. We need you to respect and appreciate us...ok so maybe they could be separate categories, but it's my blog and i said 5!

So to break it down for you....


1. Listen....pause the TV, (no whats on isn't important to us) stop what your doing, be in the same room as us, look us in the eyes, LISTEN!

2. Really I shouldn't need to expand further. Whether we have put on a few pounds or we wear sweats all the time or we have a chin hair that needs plucked or we are absentminded.... TRUST ME we know this! Begin to think of these qualities as endearing and love us in spite of or for them!

3. This goes without saying...but.....help us danggit....even when we say we don't need it or want it...even when we say no problem,we'll do it....silently we are hoping you'll help just because you love us (see #2)

4. There are 3 types of men in this world. A...the natural romantic, this comes easy and freely from you. B...the you know how to be romantic and wants to but, well you don't know why, you just don't (again trust me, it doesn't make you less manly to be romantic...only more so) C...the you don't have a clue....what is romance (there is hope for you though, grab a girl and ask her how)?

5. It doesn't matter what our professional job is or isn't...what we do or don't do around the house...we need you to notice, appreciate and respect us for it!

I did not grow up in the 60's...I did not vote for equality in all area's of women's lib....I am a girl and need you to be my big- strong- yet- gentle- romantic- helping- listening man!

Whats in it for you is everything!!!! Any need you have, any request you want, in any room of the house, any time of the day, will with certainty be met!

You spend the morning doing laundry and I'm yours.
You buy me a rose on the way home from work, I'm yours.
You kiss me as though you have to in order to survive, I'm yours. You hold the door for me, write me a love note, make my coffee every morning, clean the bathroom, carry on a conversation unpreoccupied for 5 min, wash the kids face, put gas in my car, tell me thanks for working or working out or cleaning the house, tell me my chin hair is cute, sing me a song, scrub the dishes, dance with me, call me just to say I love you, help cook dinner or clean up the living room or run errands with me......I AM ALL YOURS and truthfully, I will probably not be able to wait until the kids are in bed before I make you all mine!

Yep, these are the secrets to what turns us on, to what makes us tick, to what we need and want.

And for my money conscious friends....notice these idea's are all either free or really really cheap :)

Sorry ladies that I gave away our secrets....but if your man actually reads this and does these things....show him how much you love him and appreciate him and make him yours....wink...wink...wink...its what they respond too (yes they really only have that 1 physical need ;).

DISCLAIMER...I am not responsible for any by-products 9 months later from you making each other yours.....

Now go love, listen, respect & appreciate, help and romance her! Men you have nothing to lose but a whole lot to gain!!!

***Husband and wife tested, approved, implemented and resulted in the Fab 4 :) ***

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