Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Mr. Producers list of 5 things woman need to know!

I have hijacked farmer girls page! Don't tell her...shhh

I want to thank her for her insight into women...whether you're married or not yet, those were all helpful thoughts.

Now it's my turn. I'd like to give you woman the 5 things you need to know about us. This is my rebuttle on behalf of all men!

1. We CAN watch tv AND listen all at the same time...we just may not remember everything that was said....this applies to everything...we can do anything or nothing and still not remember everything that was said!

2. Dont critize us! No matter how many times we load the dishwasher, fold the laundry, go shopping....we will do it wrong! We don't mean to, we are really trying to help. Think of it as endearing and love us for it!

3,4,5... well, really there is no 3,4,5....just a 1 and 2. Yep, we really are that simple.

We are like a puppy...pat us on the head, throw us a treat (perhaps a bone ;) now and then (much more now than then, we could live on treats alone), let us do our business and we will in turn provide you with unconditional love...we may even wag our tag and slobber on you if your lucky :)
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M.E.N.....5 things you need to know!

So, tonight at the gym, on the treadmills next to me, two girls are in a very animated conversation. Being the nosy girl I am (please tell me this isn't a revelation to any of you), I pause my ipod (still one of the best inventions and gifts ever) to listen.
To sum up their conversation, they were complaining about the men in their lives (really, us women don't do that so I was just as shocked as you are)! I listened for a few (okay maybe a lot of) minutes to their complaints, ranging from not understanding us, to not helping with the house work, to a "need" that men seem to have more than women and I got to thinking.

I turned my music back on and in true ADD fashion changed songs many times. But, when I found my favorite song to run to, the one with a perfect beat, I began to zone out and think some more....hey a girl has to do something to make it to the 4 mile mark, right?

Okay attention! Here is the truth you have been dying to hear about us women........


Really, we aren't!!

We have 5 basic needs...yep, just 5...and this is all woman, the strong, the quiet, the self sufficient, the needy....even if we say we don't.....and in no particular order, they are:

1. We need you to listen, not just hear! There is a BIG difference!

2. We need you to love us the way we are...don't point out our flaws, trust me....we know them!

3. We need you to help out with the housework, chores, kids...not because we tell you to, not because we ask....just do it!

4. We need romance...ok so flowers everyday is a bit much, but a rose once in a while just for us will go a long way (more on that later ;) will a deep kiss or a compliment.

5. We need you to respect and appreciate us...ok so maybe they could be separate categories, but it's my blog and i said 5!

So to break it down for you....

1. Listen....pause the TV, (no whats on isn't important to us) stop what your doing, be in the same room as us, look us in the eyes, LISTEN!

2. Really I shouldn't need to expand further. Whether we have put on a few pounds or we wear sweats all the time or we have a chin hair that needs plucked or we are absentminded.... TRUST ME we know this! Begin to think of these qualities as endearing and love us in spite of or for them!

3. This goes without us danggit....even when we say we don't need it or want it...even when we say no problem,we'll do it....silently we are hoping you'll help just because you love us (see #2)

4. There are 3 types of men in this world. A...the natural romantic, this comes easy and freely from you. B...the you know how to be romantic and wants to but, well you don't know why, you just don't (again trust me, it doesn't make you less manly to be romantic...only more so) C...the you don't have a clue....what is romance (there is hope for you though, grab a girl and ask her how)?

5. It doesn't matter what our professional job is or isn't...what we do or don't do around the house...we need you to notice, appreciate and respect us for it!

I did not grow up in the 60's...I did not vote for equality in all area's of women's lib....I am a girl and need you to be my big- strong- yet- gentle- romantic- helping- listening man!

Whats in it for you is everything!!!! Any need you have, any request you want, in any room of the house, any time of the day, will with certainty be met!

You spend the morning doing laundry and I'm yours.
You buy me a rose on the way home from work, I'm yours.
You kiss me as though you have to in order to survive, I'm yours. You hold the door for me, write me a love note, make my coffee every morning, clean the bathroom, carry on a conversation unpreoccupied for 5 min, wash the kids face, put gas in my car, tell me thanks for working or working out or cleaning the house, tell me my chin hair is cute, sing me a song, scrub the dishes, dance with me, call me just to say I love you, help cook dinner or clean up the living room or run errands with me......I AM ALL YOURS and truthfully, I will probably not be able to wait until the kids are in bed before I make you all mine!

Yep, these are the secrets to what turns us on, to what makes us tick, to what we need and want.

And for my money conscious friends....notice these idea's are all either free or really really cheap :)

Sorry ladies that I gave away our secrets....but if your man actually reads this and does these him how much you love him and appreciate him and make him yours....wink...wink...wink...its what they respond too (yes they really only have that 1 physical need ;).

DISCLAIMER...I am not responsible for any by-products 9 months later from you making each other yours.....

Now go love, listen, respect & appreciate, help and romance her! Men you have nothing to lose but a whole lot to gain!!!

***Husband and wife tested, approved, implemented and resulted in the Fab 4 :) ***
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