Sunday, February 28, 2010

Just so you know

Hi.... My name's Tracy...aka...mommy, honey, wife, baby, Trace, farmer girl, girlfriend.......

I have a confession.... you can't tell anyone though! It's got to be our secret, or you'll ruin my identity....

I am so completely imperfect....

I don't floss daily.
I have ongoing issue's with ants.
I use incorrect spelling in my texts.
I hate doing the checkbook.
I dream of being rich and paying someone to do the laundry.
I stay up too late.
I am best left alone the first 20min I am awake.
I have cheated at a game in order to win.
I pout.
I like to use a good swear word now and again.
I can sorta get mad easily and then may or may not feel bad afterward.
I have stretch marks and like to blame it on having twins.
I am addicted to facebook, dark chocolate and the gym.
I sometimes ignore phone calls.
I laugh when other people do stupid things.
I wish I had potty trained the cat.
I occasionally smoke.
I can be needy.
I have spanked first then realized that at that exact moment my child may or may not have needed it.
I don't have my tupperware organized.
I don't actually own tupperware.
I spend too much money on designer coffee.
I can not draw.
I don't like science.
I think I can do everything on my own.
I really don't like playing Don't Break The Ice.
I sometimes operate on autopilot.
I hold things against people but say I don't.
I love having a few hours to myself.
I think dumb and dumber is really dumb.
I am nowhere as organized as I use to be
I am way too concerned about cleanliness.
I pretend I don't feel the kids sneak into bed most nights because I am too lazy to take them back to their beds.
I am sorta a freak about numbers and where things belong.

I am sure the list goes on and on, but I don't want you to quit reading entirely!

So, the next time you are feeling bad about yourself... remember that even I am not perfect.....

Shhhhhhhhhh :)

Saturday, February 27, 2010


****** DISCLAIMER... this is NOT directed at any of my family or friends. Do not feel pointed out or guilty (unless you are :) lol)) ******

This is a soapbox blog. I reserve the right to do this from time to time :) Its my chaos, my world, my blog, my right..... ;)

I have to question where common courtesy went.

I am going to sound like my grandparents when I say.... "I remember when..."

But, really, I do remember when people were courteous.

Where did that go and why?

Have we gotten so use to talking in text and IM that we have dehumanized and desensitized ourselves to the social politeness of caring people?

Sitting at Starbucks tonight having coffee with a friend, I observed a lady hold the door open for a couple that she was not with. Neither party in this said couple made an attempt to hold the door for each other in place of her. Furthermore, neither of the couple said thank you to this woman.


Was their time and energy so much more valuable than hers that they could not be bothered to remark on her kindness?

(before you comment and say, maybe they were deaf and unable to speak, they weren't!)

I have taught all 4 of the funchaos kids that they do not get anything without saying please and thank you! This is not negotiable. Yes, sometimes they need a gentle reminder, but for the most part, this is embedded into them! There is no negotiation on this!

Yet, I have witnessed on more than one occasional a fellow classmate or an occasional friend that routinely do not include these simple niceties in their day to day vocabulary.

Really, are we as a society not teaching out children the fundamental value that everyone deserves to be treated with politeness. Yes, everyone!

I am honest enough to admit that yes, I have had times where I have cut someone off in traffic because I was in a hurry or I have huffed at the person in line with 16 items in the express lane and yes, I have felt bad later for it!

I do not think my time, my energy or my words are any more important than yours!

Lately, I have become a texting addict. Now I know a couple people who for various reason's do not text.

I have to admit that I do frequently text in their presence. I don't really think about it being rude, but one such friend finds it very offensive. In their opinion, it feels like I am ignoring them to talk to someone else. At first I denied that fact, stating that I wasn't really "talking" with anyone else. Yet, the more I began to think about this the more I have to admit, they are right.

For me, texting comes with the same courtesies as any other form of conversation. That said, I absolutely hate when I am in the middle of a texting conversation and the other person disappears. Now, I realize we all get busy, we get carried away at work, we get called into a meeting, we have to break up a sibling squabble, change a diaper, whatever. BUT, I am talking about the total absolute none response from mid conversation, even a long time later, even enough to say, brb or gtg! To me this is the same as walking away in the middle of a person to person conversation!

Because I too have been guilty of this, I will admit it! If I have done this to you, I am terribly sorry, please forgive me!

Little man has begun to IM via fb. I have had to explain to him that even this form of communication requires him to be polite. Say thank you when someone asks how he is. Inquire how they are feeling in return. Say good bye when you are done talking. Yes, you are just punching letters on a keyboard, but there is a person on the other end of your keyboard. Even though you can't see them, they are there!

The other night I was driving home. It was dark and sort of late. There was a lost puppy running in the road. There was no thought involved on my part when I pulled over to help this puppy and I'm sure, its sad owner. I was happy to say that with me, 2 other cars pulled over to help.

A few months ago, I accidentally ran out of gas. I had the 3 little's in the car with me. It was the middle of the day, a very busy intersection. 4 lanes of traffic separated me and the gas station. I immediately put on my hazards. Embarrassed and crying, I called the closest person to me, my mom, to come to my rescue. Thankfully, she did. But in the meantime sitting there waiting for her to show up, I was passed by 3 police men and probably 200 other cars. The ONLY person to stop and ask if I needed help was a young girl, probably in her very early 20's. That's it, no one else. Not the men in work trucks, the police officer's who swore to protect and serve, the hundreds of other people so involved in their day, their worlds.

Now, I too have been guilty of passing by a person in need. Mostly this is done out of fear, I always have the kids with me. Yet, I have on more than one occasion stopped when I have witnessed an accident or rolled my window down and asked if someone needed help or me to make a phone call.

These simple acts do not make me a hero. They make me human. They make me compassionate. They remind me, my kids that everyone's life has value. That we are here to help each other, to be courteous!

There are so many little ways we can help each other, we can be polite and courteous, that it seems too easy. There are so many ways to be kind and compassionate that when we blatantly choose to overlook them, it seems that much more rude!

I pray daily that I continue to instill in my children this simple value.

When someone says hi, answer them. When someone opens the door for you, say thank you. When you ask for anything, anything at all, always say please and thank you when it is given. When you hurt someone either accidentally or on purpose, apologize. When you are conversing with someone, regardless of what method you are using, don't be rude and walk away. When someone says how are you, respond and ask how they are in return, whether you care or not isn't important. When you see someone in trouble offer to help them. When you don't want something, say no thank you! If you say you are going to do something, do it!

We are all busy, we are all important. Everyone has somewhere to be, someone to talk to. Everyone's time, energy, love is just as important as the next persons.

Be courteous!

Soapbox empty now.... If you've ready this far, thank you! If you have seen yourself in this post, I am sorry! If I have been un-courteous to you, I am deeply sorry! If you are compelled to say something, leave me a comment, but please be courteous :)

Friday, February 26, 2010


Sometimes the urge strikes to just run away....

To turn your back on the chores at hand...

To forget about the to-do list, the obligations, the technology, the seeming worries and burdens....

Sometimes, the wanderlust hits and you want to leave it all behind...

Then if your like me, you call your voice of reason.

And you are reminded that you are indeed very blessed, very lucky, very loved.

Even if the reminder comes in the form of a stern no!

Sometimes you have to look beyond the words and hear what isn't said.

The chores will be there when you return.

The to-do list, the obligations a reminder of all the things you do because you love.

The worry and burdens, simply taken care of by prayer and faith. If not for that, then they will be taken with you anyway!

Sometimes, you just have to play a game of Uno Moo with a sweet, loving, bright, beautiful 3 year old to remember, enjoy and appreciate that you don't need to get away.... that everything you need is within your reach...

Thanks voice of reason and said 3 year old to remind me of what I have known all along.... I am one lucky wife and mother!

I love you all!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

future photogs

Now that we are 3, we are learning all kinds of new things........

Is this thing on?
I think I see something

Yep, it's working

Does my syrup masterpiece look blurry to you?

Aaaah, clear.....that will look better in my portfolio

Camera shy or guilty party?

I don't know about this....

Okay, let me fix my hair

Shhh. Don't tell mom, ok? My first head shot.....

I should have gotten dressed this morning. It's okay, Jason, no one will know it's you.....

Let's work on framing.....

No, no, it's all in the lighting....

Did you hear that? Is mom coming?

Action shot... glad you got dressed

Take a picture of our birthday present, our new game

Wait, I think my finger is in the way.....

Oh, that's better.........

Now watch us learn to zoom




Gotta go... mom's coming......


Sunday, February 21, 2010


wow. little man, I can not believe you are 3!

I can not believe that for 1098 nights I have gone to bed and thanked God that you are here. From the moment of your conception, I prayed that you would be born healthy. And even though we had some tough days immediately after your birth, I am even more blessed than I deserve to be.

Oh Jason, you are the consummate baby! While some may see this as a bad thing or being weak, I quite honestly view it as just the opposite.

You have learned very early on in life that there is something to be said for sitting back and watching. That sometimes, you learn just as much by watching without actually doing.

You were like that with walking, talking, potty training. Becca was first to do all those things and you were content to learn from watching her. Almost immediately when you began to walk, talk, use the potty it was with few mistakes.

You have learned that sometimes it is easier to let the girls have their way. To let them be the boss. You will make a great husband some day :)

You are the most like your dad in the respect. You are very laid back. Yet, when you want to stand your ground, you rarely back down. You don't get mad easily, you take out most of what is dished your way but you won't let yourself get beat up either.

I worry sometimes that because they outnumber you, that the girls take advantage of you. But of all the kids, you are the one that is happiest to play by yourself and the most vocal about telling the others to leave you alone.

Often times, it seems the girls don't know how to play alone or be alone. But, you are comfortable being alone in a way that even a lot of adults are not!

A friend made a comment a few days ago that it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission. As soon as I heard those words, I immediately thought of you! The indication there though is that you are intentionally doing something wrong because you know permission will not be granted. Rarely is that the case with you I think. Usually, I think it is simply that you act first and think later.

While this trait may get you a few more spanking than the other kids. It can also serve you well later in life if you use it correctly. I can see you most being either a public servant or an engineer of some sort. Either profession can benefit and often requires you to do and then think.

Jason, you have never lost that beautiful grin or the big bright eyes you had as an infant. You have also never lost your big heart. You are so full of love. You would give up anything for anyone. You see the value in everything, from a cock roach to a person. You are the one most likely to go with anyone, rarely seeing the bad in a person. You have the amazing ability to be both a fighter and a lover. To be curious and excited over the big things, the stars...airplanes to the little things, ants...m & m's. You love to cuddle and give and receive hugs!

There is no doubt my little blonde angel that from conception, you had to fight to be here. You are strong. You are sweet. You are perfect!

I am looking forward to the challenges, laughs, hugs, learning, experiences, memories, cuddles and fun that this year brings.

Your curiosity and joy at life make it both fun and exciting to be your mommy! I am proud to say you are my son!

I love you JJ bird!

Sunday, February 14, 2010


What is it about Valentines Day that brings out the Eeyore in us girls?

Really, I'll be the first to agree that the holiday is a horrible attempt by hallmark, Whitman's, Russell Stovers and the floral and jewelery industry to convince us women our men need to purchase these unhealthy, expiring, overpriced items on a very specific day to prove their love to us.

Even acknowledging this attempt doesn't diminish the desire for or need to have this archaic display of affection.

With that being said... My dear friend Eeyore, I need to let you know you are not alone in your desire and need for affection... for the reaffirmation of love... for wanting to know you rock his world... for needing to occasionally hear him say you are his world!!

We all have days where we feel unloved, unattractive and just needed! We all have times where we want to be more than the wife. We want to be treated, loved, romanced like a girlfriend! Sadly my friend, I don't think they get it! We all have times where we want to dance in the living room, we want them to pick us up when they kiss us, make us feel like we are in a movie, where we want random love letters, an out of the blue text... gift... flowers... card... sweet gesture of love. Unasked, simply because they want to!

But, pick your head up Eeyore! We are luckier than most. We have great men. We have men that are wonderful husbands, that even though they may not tell or show us as often as we'd like... even though they don't dance with us in the living room, they do adore us! We are lucky to have men who are great fathers. Who love their jobs, their lives, who work hard to provide for us. We are lucky they do come home to us every night, who long for us when they are away. Who would admit if presses that we are their world! You just have to look into their eyes, hold their hand, kiss their lips to know for sure.

So know that today and everyday, without flowers... chocolate... cards... jewelry.......... They do think we are a princess and not an Eeyore... (thanks for noticing me... :)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bear Bear

I remember holding you in the hospital for the 1st time. It was just you and me, alone. I was still pretty drugged up and very worried about your brother. You were fine, healthy as could be, just being kept in NICU, guilty by association. The nurse brought you to me. I remember looking at how little you were, so excited to be able to nurse you, hold you! When you were done nursing, I laid you on the bed, unwrapped you, counted 10 toes. I looked at your cute little belly. Your eyes wide open. Staring at me as I talked to you. The sound of my voice bringing recognition and soothing to you. I honestly remember feeling so wrapped up in concern for your brother (and the kids at home) that I wasn't overcome with emotion for you! I knew you were healthy, I was happy you were born, happy, safe, here finally.

The first year of your life is a blur of breastfeeding, diaper changing, crying, sleeping. The next year was made of learning. You mastered walking, talking, eating, laughing, loving.

For you the age of 2 has been wonderful! There were no terrible 2's for you!
This has been the year you have developed your personality and come out of your shell.

Of all the kids Rebecca, I think you are the most like me! You get mad very easily, then forgive and forget just as quickly! You don't let others in easily but when you do they are in for life. You love to randomly say I love you. You know how those 3 little words don't need to be said but how they put a smile on the face of the person hearing them. You are passionate. You are very independent and strong. You don't want to admit you need help. Often you will ask for it then just as quickly change your mind, saying you can do it yourself! You love to help others, you like to be close, to cuddle, to hug, to kiss. But you also walk away when you need your space. You freely admit that you need time alone. You love to please people. You are your happiest when everyone around you is happy, content and loved. It makes you nervous and upset when people are mad, yelling, fighting. You love to laugh and giggle and fall into giggling fits that are very contagious! You have some very cute, quirky habits that I just can't help but love.

I am so looking forward to watching you continue to develop your personality this year. It is bittersweet to watch you grow. On one hand, I am sad to see you leave a stage behind and on the other I am excited to watch you learning and exploring! You have a shy curiousity about you that is both sweet and endearing.

I love watching you and Katie grow closer as sisters and friends. Yet, it is sweet to watch that you and Jason have not lost your special bond of being twins!

I hope that this coming year brings even more wonderful memories, places to visit, things to learn.

I am proud to be your mommy and I love you Becca bear.......

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Last year for Valentines day, Mr. Producer stole my heart again when in a simple little box he gave me 2 eggs as a gift... the promise of my future chickens... see blog and photos here.

This year, he has done it again... by agreeing to let me have this adorable, sweet, loving baby...

Of course, the best Valentines day gift ever has been and will continue to be his love....

But this little brown fuzzy peanut runs a VERY close second...

Stay tuned for a name for this little guy and some family photos :)

Thank you Mr. Producer... Happy early Valentines Day!

I love you