Monday, January 26, 2009

My who's on 1st moment

The following conversation takes place between me and United Healthcare.

It is true, it is accurate. I couldn't make this one up.

From this moment on I will refer to me, Tracy, funchaos.
Tracy will refer to Tracy, UHC representative.

Tracy: Thank you for calling United, this is Tracy, may I please have your name.
I: Tracy
Tracy: Yes it is.
I: No, my name is Tracy also.
Tracy: Hi Tracy Also, may I verify some personal information with you please, what is your subscriber ID #?
I: (chuckling) Yes, my member ID# is 55555555 and my name is Tracy Ko...
Tracy: I am sorry ma'am I do not have a member ID # 55555555 for a Tracy Also
I: I am sorry, there has been a misunderstanding, my name is Tracy K0%(!#
Tracy: Ok, yes that is the name on the account. (This is where we accurately verify more personal info) How can I help you today?
I: I am calling about a bill and an explanation of benefits that I received for my daughter Katie and my son Jason. (We verify the date of service and provider)
Tracy: What seems to be the problem?
I: I am curious as to why I am getting billed for this service and what the code on the bottom of the EOB means?
Tracy: The code EJB means that we need proof of pre-existing conditions and that is why we have not paid the bill and you are receiving it.
I: Ok, but this was for a stomach virus, not something that would be a pre-existing condition.
Tracy: I understand.
I: ok, what do you need from me?
Tracy: What we need from you is a letter certifying you had prior insurance coverage
I: What does a letter about having prior coverage have to do with having a pre-existing condition?
Tracy: Is this a pre-existing condition?
I: No ma'am is was a stomach virus, you just said I needed a letter certifying prior coverage because you won't pay the bill until you have proof of a pre-existing condition.
Tracy: I am sorry ma'am. Code EJB means we need proof of pre-existing coverage.
I: Ok, prior coverage from when?
Tracy: Your policy with us started on 2/1/2008. We need proof that you had insurance prior to this?
I: The claim in question is from after that date, it is from December 8, 2008
Tracy: Yes, however, we need to make sure you had continuous coverage prior to this before we can pay the bill.
I: You need to make sure I had coverage before February to pay a bill for lab work from December?
Tracy: Yes
I: I have had insurance with you guys since Sept. of 2005
Tracy: My records indicate your insurance began 2/1/2008
I: Okay.
SILENCE (I=slightly wore out and tired of this conversation)
I: What do I need to prove to you that I had insurance through you since 2005?
Tracy: Have you had a different employer from 2005 to 2/1/2008?
I: Yes my husband has, but we had united health insurance with both.
Tracy: Yes, but your group # is different with different employers..
I: Ok, can't you just look in your computer and see we had insurance with you under a different group?
Tracy: No, sorry.
I: Ok, what do I need to do in order to get this bill paid?
Tracy: You need to provide us with proof of insurance.
I: How do I do that?
Tracy: We should have sent you a certificate of prior coverage when you cancelled your previous insurance.
I: Ok, let me look (searching to no avail)
I: I can't find a letter. Is there anything else I can do?
Tracy: You can call customer service and request another letter be sent to you.
I: Aren't you customer service?
Tracy: Yes
I: Can't you then just look it up?
Tracy: No ma'am, that is not my department.
I: Can you just call the other dept. and get a copy of the letter from them?
Tracy: No, only you can do that.
I: So let me get this straight, you need a letter from yourself proving that I have had insurance with you from before February 2008 for a claim from December 2008?
Tracy: Yes.
I: Furthermore, if I do not have this letter than I can call you and get a copy of this letter.
Tracy: Yes
I: But you can not look up this letter yourself
Tracy: Sorry, we need to have a printed copy of this certification.
I: What happens when you get this letter
Tracy: We will list the information under this group number
I: Can you just look up the information on another computer and put it under this group #
Tracy: No, sorry
I: But, your dept. can look up this information?
Tracy: Yes, but we need a printed copy.
I: Do your computers have printers?
Tracy: I'm sorry?
I: Sorry, it just seems if your dept can give me the information that I need and you have access to printers, then why can't you just pull the information off your computer, print it and then re-enter the information into this group number?
Tracy: I am sorry, I am not authorized to do that.
I: Ok, just to clarify, I need to send you a letter, that I can get from you if I do not have it, to show you that I had insurance with you so you can input that letter back into your computer.
Tracy: That is correct
I: But you can not just copy that information from one screen to the next.
Tracy: I am not authorized to do that and I need.....
I: a printed copy, I know. I will find my copy. Thank you. Can I fax it to you.
Tracy: No, sorry, we need a hard printed copy.
I: What is the address I can mail it to?
Tracy: You can mail it to the address found on the back of your insurance card or on the bottom of your letter.
I: Great, thanks.
Tracy: If there is anything else I can help you with, please let me know.
I: No, thanks you have done enough already.

AND WE WONDER WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY? All of this to get the insurance company to pay a $680 bill for lap work for a stool sample of all things. Excuse the language, but all of this crap for them to test a bunch of crap!


Why am I a Christian?

Did I even have a choice, the Lord called me to be his child, He spoke my name.

I am a child of God because I know I can NOT walk this world with out my Father's guidance and love.

I am a child of God because I know the joy of always having my Father around, always be able to speak to him, to know that he hears me, he answers my prayers.

I know that of my own flesh I am incapable of having enough patience, love, grace and forgiveness.

I am a Christian because I can freely admit that I do bad things daily but I am forgiven them; I also know that my father loves me unconditionally.

I am a Christian because I know that I am a better person when I make my Father happy, when I do his will and tell of his love.

I am a Christian because I know that there is a better place, I know that when the end comes I will go home.

I am a Christian because He has called me to teach my children of his love and mercy.

I am a Christian because I know the road is not easy, the best things in life never are, but the reward is worth it.

I am a Christian because He loves me, because He called me.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

SUPER WAY TMI..........

I snuck in here a few minutes ago.

Quiet amidst the chaos.

Peace amongst the noise.

Alone within the house full of people I call family.

I was hoping to read me some pioneer woman.

I wonder how long it would take someone to notice, the cord no longer attached to the computer.

Bellowing as if from the heavens, "DID YOU TAKE THE LAPTOP IN T.H.E.R.E?"

Giggling and slightly meek, "Yeeeeeeees........................."

The Bellow again "R.E.A.L.L.Y?????????"

More giggle, no meekness, "Yep"

Again with the voice from the heavens, "YOU NEED HELP!"

Through the laughter "What difference would it make if it were a book or the laptop?"

If you are still following this post, here is where it gets funnier (assuming you have found the humor thus far in the bathroom/laptop/bellowing journey)


Little man "She's DIPPING IT????????" "G.R.O.S.S."

Laughter and Bellow simultaneously "No, she is/I am A.D.D.I.C.T.E.D"

Little man "Oh, ok, carry on"!

This is when I have to exit my quiet haven, my silent oasis, my solitary nirvana. The echoing of my laughter has ruined my moment with pioneer woman and Marlboro man!

Guess I will have to reread that chapter when the kids are in bed and the laughter has ended.

For the record, I really was just having Ree (and mm) withdraws (I am at the part where she has decided to stay in Texas)! For the record, I have really small closets and nobody ever questions your alone time in "there", right? That is the 11th commandment, Right?




Dang, I knew I lost ya.......... I thought it was TMI

Will you come back? Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Be forwarned, I am sure to offend!

I would like to start with an apology to those of you I am about to offend.

I really wanted to write a blog and give a tongue lashing to some of my fellow bloggers for their willingness to speak such hateful words against another person. My head races with the words that I want to say about how judgemental you seem. My heart cries for how you appear to other people, Christian's, Muslim's, nonbelievers.

After I read some blogs last night via blogger and myspace, then I read some more this morning, I felt uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I can't not even find the right word!

I know that most of you were just expressing your personal opinion, something we all do and have the right to. I respect that we do not all like the same people. I did not vote for the man that you all speak of so negatively. However, I can not sit here and say I am a Christian and then say that I hate him for this or I think he desecrated the bible when he was inaugurated. I can tell you there are policies I have read about that he seems to agree with that I do not. But I can not and will not attack his personal character and moral fiber based on what the media feeds me. Only he and God know their relationship together! I will trust in the Lord, I will watch the man in action and I will pray for him. To do anything less would make me a hypocrite!

Lastly, I will leave you with the admittance that I know very little bible verses by heart and the ones I will post below came from the service at church last week. Do with them what you will!

Matthew 7:1-6
Proverbs 6:16-21
Galatians 5: 26 and 6:5

"Hate the sin, not the sinner"

Political and religious....MOM, help, I am forgetting my manners! Your grandkids might need you to come visit (before I throw in some sex, hey, anything is possible:)!!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


As with most things in my life, I am not very vocal about my politicalness.

Call it growing up under the adage "You never discuss, politics, religion, or sex in mixed company"

But... sometimes I forget my manners.

Let's talk about sex baby....................................

J.U.S.T. K.I.D.D.I.N.G.

Let's talk politics, because, really on this inaugural day, is there really anything else to talk about?

Let's start with George. How is he feeling? Really feeling? Is he sad to see it end? Excited that he is no longer sleeping with the weight of the country/world on his shoulders? Grateful for the chance? Bitter of the circumstances that quickly followed and ended up shaping his otherwise perfectly thought out presidency? Hoping to be re-liked? Disappointed that he is seemingly not? Calm that he did my Father's will? Nervous of how he will be remembered?

I have to think that him leaving is akin to us releasing our children when they are grown. They are always ours. We can always call and give advice, but ultimately, we are no longer in control. We can look back on the memories, both good and bad and know that decision we made, we did the best we could with what we had. We raised, shaped, loved, errored, learned right along with our children. I know how difficult this can be with 1, 2, 3, 4 kids. Imagine having millions of kids. Whether you like President Bush or not, think of the difficult task he was handed. How would you have handled it? It is easy to sit on your couch and think about what you would have done, but with other personalities influencing and stopping you, think about what you could have, would have done. Mostly remember that he is HUMAN too. The presidency is not a job I would ever want, I have a hard enough time running a house for 6. I admire anyone who aspires to this position. I wish you hugs, prayers and luck President Bush. You lead us through times this country never thought they would see. I personally admire the man you are. You have always stood by your convictions, you have never waivered in your beliefs and you have lead this country with your strongest desire to see us through to safety and love! Thank you for all you gave us. While hindsight is 20/20 may you leave today with nothing but well wishes for your follower. May you have great memories of your "child rearing" years and may you enjoy your "empty nest" as well.

Obama, as you were standing in the hall of the capital getting ready to walk out and be sworn in as president, what was going through your mind? Were you nervous? Did you have second thoughts? Because even the most seasoned parent gets slightly nervous over the impending birth of their next child. Were you elated and relieved that the moment was finally here? Were you praying that you fulfill His desire? Were you praying you didn't trip walking out?

As I said before, I don't envy you. Yours will be a lonely job. Lonely in spite of being surrounded by many. No one other than yourself will truly know what you are going through. Even those who have forged before you will not have had the same experiences and problems. You will have advisers, friends, employees and Michelle, but you will be alone. I imagine this office takes a certain courage and faith in the unknown. You are an eloquent speaker, a man with many dreams and beliefs in all things equal. I hope and pray you can unite a nation that defines a person by the color of their skin and the belief of their God. I wish you Godspeed and good luck! May you prove critics and naysayers wrong, may you gain the support of those who voted against you and those who are unsure. May you be the man your supporters think you are!!!!

Now unto the religion and sex.............................................................

Sunday, January 11, 2009



I AM ...thinking that it is getting late, 24 rocked and I really should get to bed.
I WANT... it to warm up because now that I have decided to get a tattoo, I wanna do it now!
I HAVE ... hoped that ex-boyriends have facebooked or myspaced me and wished they hadn't let me go, yep, sure have!
I WISH I COULD ... be as brave as my kids think I am.
I HATE ... sweeping the kitchen floor, pea's, pettiness and my nose.
I FEAR ... roller coasters, big ones. TERRIBLY.
I HEAR ... the giggling and loudness of my kids and love it.
I SEARCH ... for long adjectives, big words, my pre-mommy brain and body while still being a mommy.
I DON'T THINK ... sometimes I just don't.
I REGRET ... nothing, for everything got me to where I am.
I LOVE ... my life, really, in spite of the improvements I want, it is an awesome place to be.
I ACHE FOR ... for everyone I know to have the relationship I do with my FATHER.
I ALWAYS CRY ... the week before, over stupid things.
I AM NOT ... weak. At all.
I DANCE ... for my be feel better...with no one watching.
I SING ... horribly, but I love to.
I NEVER ... go a day without worrying or obsessing about something. Not ever. Not a day. Although I REALLY want to.
I RARELY ... am on time. TRULY try to be, but...
I CRY WHEN I WATCH ... video's of my children's birth, and at least 2 ER's a season.
I AM NOT ALWAYS ... awake.
I HATE THAT ... I never have enough to give to whatever cause I want.
I'M CONFUSED ABOUT ... the purpose of roaches, the scent that comes from my children and yo gabba gabba.
I NEED ... to color more.
I SHOULD ... find a way to do less laundry.


Tagged, thanks angela


For the record, I love being loved!!!

I also love comments, but I get very few of those. (I try not to take it personal)

BUT...I have been shown some love today.

I have been tagged. No, not by Jason's sticky hands or Adam's school yard game.

I have been tagged by fellow blogger, 4h-er, church goer and friend, Angela. Angela has tagged me to provide you guys with a picture. My instructions were VERY simple. Go to the 4th folder in my pics and pic out the 4th pic. Being that I am a good girl who follows directions and loves to play games, away I went.


Not because I have indecent pictures on my computer. HA! But because, photography is not my forte. I am not bad at it, but it is a good thing I have a digital camera. I am constantly snapping in hopes that the kids will sit still, look at me, smile and well just generally be perfect for a moment so I can capture the moment I wanted it to be.

BUT, in keeping it real, that doesn't happen. So I thank the maker of the DELETE button regularly because only God knows what blurry where's waldo pic you might have gotten.

Here is what you really get

No photoshop needed. A picture in motion and you can see the subjects! Go me!!

This is the part where I am suppose to describe the picture, but really I think it would be more fun to get your take.

Sorry Angela, I said I follow the rules, I didn't say that I wouldn't make it my own a little!

Lastly, I am suppose to tag the person who sent it to me and tag 4 people to send it to, B.U.T. I DON"T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! HELP! and really if I did I don't think there are 4 people who read my blog that have their own blog that would participate. :( I NEED BLOGGY FRIENDS!!!!

In the meantime, thanks Angela, it was fun!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Redbook got me thinking...

There was an article today in the Redbook magazine that I was reading at the gym, hey anything to get me away from thinking about the torture that I am enduring... but I digress... Now I can not tell you what the article was about. I.DON'T.HAVE.A.CLUE. but the following phrase caught my attention

"Write down 3 traits you like most about yourself and but them in your wallet, so if you are having a bad day, you can have a quick, pick me up"

This got me to thinking (again, taking my mind off the torture). What would I, ME, TRACY, write about MYSELF!

{{{{{{{{ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Now, this is not self depreciating in the sense that I want you complimentary comments. SO.NOT.THE.PURPOSE.OF.TODAYS.BLOG. While I love your compliments normally and flattery will get you everywhere, don't patronize me today by complimenting me}}}}}}}}

What 3 traits would I write about myself. I spent the better part of the afternoon trying to come up with an answer.

#1. My eyes. The color and the feelings that they convey.
#2. My

Wow! I am stuck at #1. Is that suppose to happen? Darn.

Would it be easier to write what I won't put and why? Hmmmmmmmmm....

#1. My body... do I really need to say why?
#2. My kindness, in I would give you the shirt of my back, except see #1. I am not so much in the position anyone wants to see the shirt off my back.
#3. My patience...I pray nightly for more...with 4 kids can I ever have enough?
#4. My not sharing everything still considered being honest?
#5. My ability to forgive...did I mention that I can/will/do hold a grudge?
#6. My fairness...yea, right. I will admit is, I judge, myself, others, people I have no right to (Hey, I am not perfect, I pray nightly for my shortcomings, I am working on them)
#7. My sense of humor...ummm, yea sometimes you don't want to know what weird things I find funny!
#8 My ability to sing...Even the church would ask me not to sing but rather hum!
#9. My unwavering belief in what can not be seen..except, I question UFO's, unicorn's and the goodness of anything that smells bad.
#10. My ability to love...that is what got me in trouble with food, debt and 4 kids, oops, sorry this is a family blog, right.

Seems, I am not doing much in the area of pick me up....

Then I went back and looked at my list, picking apart each one individually and here is what I came up with.

#1. My eyes, because yes, I do like them, thanks for asking! As for the rest of my body, the parts I don't like. I have made peace with them. There are 4 reason's they are that way. Adam, Katie, Becca and Jason. You have done indescribable things to my body but even more to my heart, so thank you!
#2. My kindness. Hey it may not be pretty, but really, if you need my shirt, it is yours! Just close your eyes!
#3. My patience. I am not Job. I do pray for more...but I do have more than a lot of people I know.
#4. My honesty, I have learned when to share and when to hold back. I have also learned that being honest does not always mean not lying, sometimes it means telling you what you need/want to hear. Sometimes it means protecting your feelings and heart.
#5. My ability to forgive. I can/do forgive. In.My.Own.Time. Some things in life are better not rushed. Cookies, pregnancy and forgiveness.
#6. My fairness. Being fair doesn't mean giving/treating everyone the exact same. It means treating everyone the way they personally deserve to be treated. Treating everyone with the love and respect that is unique to them.
#7. My sense of humor. I can laugh at myself, you, my kids. Even more, I can make you laugh. It may not always be appropriate. Often I speak before I think and this my friends is just least to me.
#8. My ability to sing. I am so good that even the local dogs join in! Hey, my kids love it!!!!!!
#9. My unwavering belief in what can not be seen, hey, I don't know everything, only He does and at least the smell lets me know that a diaper change is needed!
#10. Lastly, my ability to love...deeply. For better or worse, if you are invited in, you are here to stay.

So, I guess Redbook was good for something, other than keeping me from focusing on the torture occurring! It made me realize that I may not be the best person on the earth, but I can admit my faults, I aim to improve them, can laugh while doing so and I am definitely not the worst!!!! And, while I am TOTALLY IMPERFECT, I actually do like me even though I can not count!!!!

What would Redbook tell you about yourself?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Your first.

I logged onto facebook earlier

(Hi, my name is Tracy. I have a problem)

and saw a post from a friend that she is pregnant. It is her first time!

This got me to thinking of the joys of being a first time parent.

DISCLAIMER!!! {{Now, before I continue, if you know me, you know I am ESTATIC to have 4 children, I love them all, thank God for them daily and would NOT want my life any other way}}


Those of you with children >1 you can agree with what I am about to say.


Do you remember the joy of just one? The easiness and the thinking it wasn't so easy? Do you remember loving doing their laundry? Arguing over who was lucky enough to change their cute little diapers this time? Enjoying every sound/squeak that came from their body? Giggling at their messes, all of them? Embracing the middle of the night feeding...again? Sleeping when they slept? Going places and showing them off? Just going places with ease? Playing for, err, with them? Just staring at them for hours on end? The new baby smell? Bath time? The nervousness of leaving the hospital, their first illness, car ride, feeding, time away from you? The fear of strangers looking and God forbid touching? Thinking no one is as good as you (even with 4, I still think this for the record)!

There is a special bond, there always will be.

They were your 1st. The ones that taught you a nuclear bomb could go off next to your bed and you could sleep through it, but the squeaky toot of the baby lying next to you woke you up before it was even complete.

They were your 1st. The ones who made you go next door, demand the neighbor pull up their new rose bush because there was a foul smell in the neighborhood only to make you realize that foul smell was coming from your bundle of joy!

They were your 1st. The one who never got called to be seen at the pediatricians office because you signed your own name. The next time you signed theirs, but you didn't recognize the name they were calling because you forgot where you were and why. Finally, you know who you are, you know who your baby is, but by the time the call you back you are sleeping!

They were your 1st. The one that taught you sleep deprivation really does not kill a person!

They were your 1st. The one that stole your heart and made you wonder if you could love anyone else this way. They made you think that there was no way your parents loved you this much or surely they would have never spanked you!!!

They were your 1st. The golden child (usually) that tricked you into having more.

They were your 1st. Your 1st real true love. Your 1st real taste of being a grown-up. Your 1st real understanding of "I'd give my life for......" and "I'd kill them if they hurt my kid........"

They were your 1st. The one that taught you fever's aren't bad. You can choke on your own spit when you inhale too quickly over your fear of their fall. Hair dye is your new best friend. AND. maybe your mom does know something.

The first time you become a parent is magical, special, wonderful, joyous, and everything right with the world!!!!

So, whether you have 1, 4, 8 or more (you really need a new hobby;). Your 1st will always be uniquely special. Go give them a hug and a kiss!!!! If they let you, if not, they will have a 1st one day, then they will understand!

Brenda - if you read this, congrats! Enjoy the next 8 months, they will last forever and go very quick!!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009

9 things

Seven. Starring Me.

Nine Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:
1. Hot air balloon, despite my fear.
2. Have a book (or 2 or 3) published.
3. Visit Ireland, for a long time.
4. Get a tattoo, you will have to ask to find out of what.
5. Live in NC.
6. Swim with dolphins.
7. Own and relearn to play the piano.
8. Spend a week at Disney World
9. Be debt free

Nine Things I CAN Do:
1. Laugh at myself and others.
2. Make up my own songs.
3. Run the batteries dead on any phone you give me.
4. Cook a mean fried catfish.
5. Be overly dramatic and long winded in my story telling.
6. Bake an awesome zucchini bread.
7. Say "I'm sorry."
8. Read a book in a day.
9. Tune out my children crying because they don't want to nap.

Nine Things I CANNOT Do:
1. Always know when I've hurt someones feelings.
2. Read music.
3. Stand lying
4. Juggle.
5. Remember everything I want to do in a day without writing it down.
6. Help everyone I want to help.
7. Eat just 1 Dorito.
8. Understand mean people.
9. Ride a roller coaster (even a kiddie one) without screaming.

Nine Things That Attract Me To My Spouse:
1. His lights-up-the-entire-room smile.
2. His hands and arms.
3. The way he looks in a suit.
4. His laugh when he is watching Seinfeld
5. Watching him work.
6. His ability to build/fix almost anything.
7. Watching him play with our children.
8. His openness (although I have a love/hate relationship with this aspect:)
9. His ability to make me laugh.

Nine Things I Say Most Often:
1.I love you
2. Adam Joseph!
3. Katherine Jean!
4. Rebecca Ann!
5. Jason Michael!
6. Stop that
7. Oh for the love of...
8. Hey hun...
9. If you do XXX again I will get the spanking stick

Nine Favorite Celebrities
1. My husband, youtube, you will see!!!
2. Jack Bauer
3. Keifer Sutherland
4. Dennis Haysbert
5. Wentworth Miller
6. Julia Roberts
7. Juliette Lewis
8. Adam Sandler
9. Kate Hudson

Happy New Year...funchaos style

Yea, I know, I know. Officially, the new year started 5 days ago. But you know us, we are nothing if not consistent. Being that we are always late (playdates, church, dinner, anywhere more than 3 of us are going) I planned to start my new year blog late. We are fashionable. At least in our tardiness.

Why did I pick today?

Some of you might think it is because this is the 1st chance I have had to blog.

Some of you are right.

This is the start of my new year and the 1st chance I have had to blog because I finally finished my to-do list from last year!

Now, if you saw the list you might be proud of me for only going over time and budget (I will save this post for another day check back around feb 2) by 5 days.

I have a post I want to write about blessings but it doesn't fit into my original plan for the start of this year. Imagine that!!! So, I am going to make this post a little longer and add it here, so I can deservingly recognize and thank Him and still follow my plan (there is a lesson to be had here I think)

I am continually amazed at my maker. I am not sure I will ever get use to his provisions and fulfilling promises. I get prayers answered in the smallest of ways, but they delight me and make me thank him all the same. Every time I find that I am in a position to give to others, even if only $5, it really does come back to me 10 fold. For the record, this delights me not because I am getting freebies (although with twins in diapers, um yea, I do love when the diaper fairy visits, I'm not gonna lie), but because I get to see my maker at work and it doesn't get better than that!!! Thank you Lord, you are good!!!

Now, my goal for 2009, or at least for the next couple blog entries is to just let you into my world q&a style. Yep, I am going to share some of those annoying about me surveys.

Hey, I think I am cool and I just wanna share :) Enjoy!

P.S. the word of the year, is kindness (another blog entry for a later date)