Sunday, December 18, 2011

a picture worth a thousand words

I intended to leave my thoughts simply with a few words as my facebook status "It is so very easy to judge, to say what you would or wouldn't do; I'm sure some decisions may surprise other people, but until you find yourself in the exact same position, you truly have no idea!" 

Sorry, I just can't seem to let it stop there. 

The famous Duggar family, suffered a 2nd trimester miscarriage last week. The world is outraged and looking at everything this couple does as a publicity stunt. (you can read the story here)

While I do not advocate for anyone having 20 children, it is not my place to judge a family that loves and provides, without the assistance of government help, for their family. 

Your personal feelings aside on what this woman may be doing to her body, the footprint they are leaving on our environment, etc, etc. You can not deny the pain this family is experiencing in the loss of their last child!


and yes, as crazy as this may sound to you, I AM JEALOUS OF THEM.

They are the parents of a precious angel. A perfect child that shall forever watch over them and love them from heaven, resting safely in the arms of our Lord. 

So am I! 

This isn't a blessing, (and yes it is a blessing) that I would wish to any parent.

My circumstances in having my baby in heaven is slightly different than the Duggars, but no less special.

So, why you ask am I jealous? 

Because they have pictures!!!!

Yes, many people the world over are outraged and disgusted by the audacity and seemingly senselessness of Michelle Duggar and family to hand out pictures of their stillborn preterm child. 

I have never seen a more tasteful, beautiful picture in all my life!

I completely commend this family and the photographers from for the beauty they have shown in this sweet pictures. 

I am jealous that the Duggars have a visual reminder, beautiful enough to display to the world of their angel in heaven. I am jealous that in the face of tragedy, they had time to think and prepare for a precious way to remember their angel.

You see when "tragedy" strikes, we are often left with no time to prepare. I am incredibly blessed to have had 3 hours with my precious sweet baby Andrew before he passed away, but I have blogged before, that my ONLY regret surrounding his life and death here on earth, is that I have no pictures fit for displaying. Yes, I have a picture, but it is not one I can show the world. Through a mother's eyes, I can look at his picture, a baby with such little, perfect features, and smile at how the sheer beauty and perfection God alone can create. However, most people can not look at his picture through my eyes. Yes, he was perfect, every finger and toe perfectly formed...a cute button noise, a head of black hair, a tiny, wrinkly little tummy...beautiful, long arms and legs. Perfection in its truest form! Yet, knowing this picture was taken, after he went home to be with Jesus, makes it impossible for most people to look at. I have yet to show my children here on earth, although they know and talk about their brother in heaven frequently, because well, they are simply not mature and understanding enough to appreciate and value the beauty of his picture.

Had I the time to prepare, as the Duggars did, I would have made certain to take pictures of my precious angel. Pictures of him wrapped up, snuggled in my arms, pictures of his daddy kissing his forehead, pictures of his grandparents looking at him in wonderful amazement, pictures of the priest baptizing him, pictures of mommy's tears falling on his gentle cheeks.

Yes, I would have taken pictures, yes, I would still to this day have them displayed proudly in my home. Yes, pictures to show my children of their brother.

I fully support the tastefulness, love and heartbreak in which the Duggars chose to have pictures taken to show their angel to the world, to hang on the wall of their home, to have the visual reminder, when time fads the memory, of the beauty and love they have known through their precious child, Jubilee.

May the Duggars continue to find peace in the knowledge that their sweet girl is with her heavenly father! 


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