Sunday, May 25, 2008

8/25/07 (as originally posted on my myspace)

I can't believe it has been 7 years. In some ways it seems just like yesterday and other ways it seems like a lifetime ago. We haven't talked about it today, Jim and I, or really anyone for that matter. My mom asked if it has really been 7 years (just the acknowledgement was nice - thanks mom). Truth be told I am not sure who all remembers but me and Jim and a small handful of people (and my mom of course). Actually to be real honest it probably isn't a matter of remembering or not as much as people don't know what to say. Happy Anniversary isn't really appropriate and I think people are afraid to say too much, they don't want to make me sad or cry. This has been I think the 1st year that I haven't cried (although there is 20 minutes left of today :-) or been depressed, I guess it has something to do with chasing after 4 kids. I would say that he has been on my mind more today, but honestly it has been in a good way. This may sound weird but I am thankful for him, without him, I wouldn't have my other 4. There is no way you can "trade" one child for another but I know that he helped make sure the other 4 got here safe and he continues to watch over them. I really didn't ever think that I could ever be so peaceful and calm about his death, but I am.
Andrew, Even though you are not physically here with me, you are always just a thought away!! I thank you and God daily for your brothers and sister, please continue to be their guardian angel. I love you always. Mommy!!!!

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