Saturday, August 22, 2009


A friend stated recently that from the outside looking in, it seems that Mr. Producer and I have a marriage to be envied!

I watch my grandma go to the nursing home daily and sit for hours with my grandpa. Sometimes he knows she is there and other times he is clueless!

I listen to friends talk of their divorces, seperations, struggles.

Rarely, I question if that could ever be us?!

I suppose it is fool hearty to assume you will never have problems, issue's, struggles. Every couples level of acceptance is different!

All of this got me thinking....what is marriage?

Ok, crazy question perhaps considering I have been married for 11.5 years. But, really... what is marriage?

To look it up in the dictionary, you may find : The union between a husband and a wife.

Wow, that sounds easy enough!

But wait, there's! For any of us that are there, whether we have been married for 2 days, 11 years, or 47 years, I am sure we would say there is a lot more to marriage...

Passion, romance, dancing in the kitchen, flirting, kissing for no reason?
Washing dished together, sharing a cup of coffee together, listening to Dave Ramsey, paying bills, taking care of sick kids.
Date nights, being silly, having private jokes, making love?
Feeding the chickens, hanging with friends, arguing in the grocery store, going on vacations, remodeling, playing with kids.

The reality is there are many stages and phases in a marriage.

If your marriage is strictly built on passion, flirting, sex, what happens when that is gone? When the person ages or if there was an accident?
If your marriage is built on friendship and comfort only, what happens if you want more than that some day?
If your marriage is built on just the kids and the chores, what happens when that is gone?

Only you know what your marriage is based on....what you need....only you know what your level of acceptance much of each: friendship, passion, co-parent do you need?

If the vows, till death do you part were included in your ceremony, then you have to think about all of these...

I am positive my grandparents are still the best of friends, I know that they are still co-parents and I have seen they are still passionate to each other. This may not be the passion of their younger days, but they are still each other's whole world even though they live in seperate places these days, there hearts still remain together forever....till death do them part!

No comments: