divorce

Got your attention didn't I? He he. Sorry, that wasn't nice.

I promised a blog on my dislike of friends, so here goes.

Making and having friends I have discovered is actually harder than getting and staying married. Or, maybe it is just me!

Making friends is just like dating. You can't wait to discover everything about the other person; you spend endless hours talking; you giggle; you make dates; you cook and dress to impress; Basically you "date". Then while you never decide to be exclusive you do begin to spend more time with that friend then your others. Finally, while still in the "you are so normal and we have so much in common and I love your kids" stage, you either verbally or by your actions announce to the whole world and all your other friends that you are best friends. This is the 1 friend you can't live without; the one person whom you have the most in common; the one you tell all your secrests too. This is also the same person you are going to want to divorce in a few years! TRUST ME!! My mother always said if it is too good to be true, it is. This also applies to friends. Whether they are your best friend or just a close friend, if they seems too great, they are.

Now, let's fast forward a couple years. Your bestest friend ever is human; they aggravate you; they don't always brush their hair to come see you; their cooking is bad (or what they passed off as theirs actually came from take out they threw in their own container); they have bad habits and their kids can be unruly (so can yours, but you have to keep them and love them anyway:-)

Now you are realizing that there are differences in being married and being friends. Your spouse is the only other person who loves to hear every story about your kids; who declared in front of God and the world in a million dollar ceremony that they will always love you; your spouse has seen you naked and is still around; your spouse can and occassionally does, clean the bathroom, mow the yard or keep the kids for free so you can go out for the evening alone; and honestly, there is the sex factor. Let's be grown ups here, we all have kids!

Finally you are left with a decision. Do you divorce, separate or make-up, with the friend. Well, Unlike the spouse, you can divorce the friend pretty inexpensively and you don't have to return half your house if it is within the 1st year. although some clothes/toys/house keys may have to be returned. Yes, you share memories but right now you can't remember the good one's. The kids will miss each other in the beginning but if you are quick enough to make new friends, then the kids won't remember johnny anyway. It is much easier to not mention the old friend for your children don't look like them (if they do, then you have bigger issue's). However, just like the spouse, they know a lot about you. They accept you faults and all. They give it to you straight, even when you don't want to hear it. They do make you laugh and they do love your kids (almost as much as their own). You do have history. They get the men jokes.

So, while they may aggravate you and you may go from friends, to best friends to just friends once more, a friend is a good thing to have. However deep the relationship, as long as the friend can pick you up when you are down, will go bikini shopping with you, make you laugh and help in your time of need, then I guess maybe you ought to hang on to them! Just like marriage, sometimes it may take work, but the best things in life usually do!!!!

Love ya,
T