Thursday, February 5, 2009

Did I say I don't believe in bribing

Here is a list of all the ridiculous things I swore I would never do as a parent........

quick break to dry the tears of laughter before I continue......

#1. I would never let my child sleep with me
#2. I will never give advice to another mother
#3. I would never allow my child to run in the house
#4. I would never yell
#5. I would take potty training in stride, really it is just a little pee
#6. My children would never yell
#7. My kids would never have chocolate for breakfast
#8. My child would NEVER, I mean, NEVER run around in just a diaper
#9. I would never allow one to do something and scold another child for doing the same thing
#10. I would never make my own baby food, why do the work?
#11. I would never bribe my kids with candy, cookies, cakes
#12. My kids will not have dessert every night
#13. I will never send my children to bed crying
#14. I will never use anything other than my hand to swat my sweeties
#15. My kids will not have to do chores other than pick up their toys
#16. My house will be a democracy.

Here is a list of the ridiculous things that I now make a part of my daily routine, ok, maybe not daily, but definitely weekly!

#1. Adam joined us when he was 2.5 years old, Katie joined us when she was 2 weeks old and refuse to sleep anywhere else and the twins, well, honestly, I am not sure they ever left, JUST KIDDING!
#2. Give advice, that implies a quick let me tell you this real quick. HAHAHAHA!!! You got a few days, I got a thesis I wanna share.............................
#3. Hey, I don't allow them to run with scissors.
#4. Hold on, I have to finish yelling at the kids, ok?
#5. Potty training really is my nemesis
#6. Hang on a sec, I can't hear you over the kids screaming.
#7. I figure chocolate is made of dairy, that is healthy, right?
#8. Getting dressed is highly OVERRATED!
#9. What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander
#10. Really, commercial baby food, I don't know what is in that (and it is not on the dave ramsey plan)
#11. Who ever has said bribery is a bad thing has never been a parent of more than 1 child!
#12. Isn't dessert one of the major food groups?
#13. NEVER say never! This is the only part of the post I may be serious about and damn #13 does hurt me more than it hurts them!
#14. Have you met my spankin' stick? If it comes off the wall, you are gonna meet it!
#15. Ok, my kids will never do chores other than pick up their toys, room, help with laundry, dishes, vacuum, take out the trash, more chores will be forthcoming.
#16. There is nothing wrong with a dictatorship!!! Really, you wanna argue with me?

What are some of your "I'll never's"?

They really are funny to look back on now and laugh.

I think this is the part where I am suppose to list all the things I love about having children, but I gotta run to the grocery store, for milk, for the ones I love. Stay Tuned

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