One of my youngers is determined to ride a bike for themselves. They are not ready. I don't let go. They have no choice. I know what they need, what I am saving them from, even while they don't. They push me away and fall. I don't gloat. I rush to their side. I kiss the pain. I offer again to help. It may be taken or they may be determined to do it again. ALONE. Still I stand and wait.
One of my youngers ask for help with everything. Afraid to do anything alone. I help when I know they need it. I encourage them to try when I know they can. I force them to do it alone (under my watchful eye of course) when they must.
One of my youngers relishes in my world. Doing all things mom. Rarely leaves my side and looks back constantly when they do. They need to know that I will always be here. I will never leave. I will not always be there the second they demand it, but I will always be there.
One of my youngers has very little need for me at all. The independence so strong I only serve a very limited need. They could walk away tomorrow and conquer the world. They will call home at night to let me know though that they did it ALONE. So independent. Yet, I am still here. I still encourage, I still love, I still set limits for I know they do need me.
One of my youngers has a need for reprimand on a minute by minute basis it seems. There is a strength in that. It will serve them well. I am still showing love. I never give up. I continue on. I know there will be a day when my desire will be won. I know they will understand someday.
One of my youngers has such a need to please. To do as told. To willingly accept. To rarely need reprimand. To be easy going and always ready for a hug. They are not my favorite. There are no favorites, only love for different reasons. They all think they are the favorite though and yet they know they are no better in my eyes than the next.
You ask, I will provide. Some provisions are immediate. The need for food, love. Some provisions are forthcoming play dates, outings. Some provisions are really a passing fancy that will not be meet, video games, designer clothes.
You disobey, I reprimand. Some reprimands are severe, a spanking, a I need your attention NOW. Some are just needing time alone. Some reprimands are the gentle voice, encouragement to do better. You cry when you are hurt. I kiss away the pain of a fall. I inwardly ache and stand aside to let you absorb the pain of a spanking. Then I kiss away the pain, after the lesson has been taught.
You have the choice to do things on your own. You have the choice to not listen to me.
You don't have to ask for my advice, opinions, you do not HAVE to seek my help. Yet, you do.
You do not have to love me, yet you do. I do not have to love you, yet I never wouldn't!
I don't have to see to believe
I don't have to touch to know
I don't have to have all the answers
There are many things that won't become clear until the day He calls me home
There are inconsistencies in stories
There are metaphor's I don't understand
There are lies greater than I can imagine
There is faith, love, hope
There are truths bigger than I can comprehend
There are promises greater than I can deserve
There is a love bigger than I expect
There are things I know
My Father loves me like I love the children He has given me.
If I let him, My Father reveals himself through my parenting.
If I let him, My Father sets the example for how I should raise, reprimand, care for and love my/His children.
If I reckon him to me and me to them our relationship is identical, except when he knows more than me (which is always).
visit our new home!
4 years ago