Saturday, February 21, 2009

I'll deny it

Yep, I am not above a little denial when my very womanhood is at stake!
I remember growing up and watching my mom, my grandma, my aunt, shoot, strangers sewing. I thought it looked easy enough. Sort of relaxing and soothing.

I remember thinking that when I became a mom, I too would sew matching dresses for me and my daughters.

Then came 7th grade home ec. I persevered through the pin cushion. A very dear friend of mine still has a pillow I sewed for her. I even managed to make a sweatshirt. Never mind that it would have only managed to fit on an oddly shaped dog. I made it and I passed!

Moving on to 10th and 11th grade. I took Spanish. Yep, 2 full years. I passed that too.

Hola, como estes?

I can also count to 10 in Spanish.

That is it, my 2 years and this is what I remember. I don't even remember how to say I love you. (I can name a few colors, thanks Dora)

What does my lack of Spanish speaking skills and sewing have in common? Continue on

B.U.T.... If you are an avid seamstress or even know how to thread a needle, you may want to brace yourself, it is not pretty!!!

It seems harmless enough. Although I am not sure what these little things are or how they would be used or even why they would be used, I feel I am well prepared in having them.
Apparently Mr. Producer isn't the only pack rat in the family. I admit that saving buttons from recently purchased articles of clothing may be a good thing. But, really, the bags they came in? REALLY?
Then we stumble across a whole collection of buttons (at least these have been set free from bondage) Some are small, some are big, some are colorful, others are plain and some are just down right ugly and older than my grandma (please don't be offended grandma ;)
Now this is where my sewing box (originally sold as a tackle box, but who am I to judge when things want to change genders) starts to get a little, um, well, you pick the adjective
googly eyes anyone?

Maybe this is suppose to be a craft box?
Or a scrapbook box (these are picture frame stickers, hundreds of them, in case you can't tell)
Not all together sure what these are, but they are wood and look crafty?!
And this is where my sewing, err, craft, err, scrap booking box just gets, well WEIRD!
a portion of a lamp? What? You don't have one in your sewing kit? How ill prepared you are!
And keeping with the things that make you hmmmmmm. Yep, bells from baby shoes circa 19I-am-way-to-young-to-have-worn-these?!!?!!!
And getting the award for being the most weird item in Tracy's bizarro sewing kit is none other than................................. (drumroll please)..........................................

Yep, you are seeing things correctly. It is a bag of HAIR! Here is the part of the story where I could lie and well honestly you would never know. I could say it was from Katie's 1st hair cut. I could. But, in keeping things real, I have to confess that it is a bag of my hair. I remember this haircut well. It was a warm day and I was, OH HECK, I DON'T HAVE A FREAKIN' CLUE YA'LL!

Ok, digging farther leads me to believe there is hope for this sewing box yet.

(psst I don't recall ever sewing a hook and eye or a snap, but well like everything else, there is safety in numbers)

Thread: check
Rivets: check (I know you are impressed that I knew what they were called! Thanks babe for the answer;)
Rolling exacto knife: check
Pins: check
picture frame easel: check
Clock guts: check
Outlet cover: check
Come on people, if you are missing any of the above in your sewing kit, you need to ask a professional to better stock yours!
At last, THREAD!
However, I am still on the hunt for the elusive needle though to sew Becca's bear back together.

When all else fails, use glue. That oughta work, right?

Is this a mirage? Could it be?

Finally at long last, through the carnage of my well stocked sewing kit I find the needle in the wreckage. Hiding, in the corner, with a stray button and some thread. Think they are trying to tell me something?!

So, there you have it. My Monica closet if you will. My deepest, darkest secret. My reason 523 why I don't volunteer to help make costumes for the Christmas play. My, I have to give mom something to talk about in therapy (hey, I'm just doing my part)!

2 hours, 1 blog post and 16 pictures later, Becca's bears surgery went well. He is healing nicely in bed snuggling with his owner. As for the surgeon, she is putting her tools away. Yep, all of them right back where they were. Have I mentioned I don't like change?


Melanie said...

I am in "stitches" over here! LOL
Really really really funny post!
I was thinking perhaps if you wanted you could use those little button bags & sort all the buttons out into groups, by color or what not...LOL, ok sorry just trying to help here!
Thanks for the chuckle!

momof4sweetsisters said...

Too funny! Are you guys getting chickens? How neat is that. You should come over and see ours. Really your invited!

Your veggies look great. Have a great day!

mon rocher said...

Very funny blog. Thanks.