It is that time of year again.
Dear Theme Park,
Now, I have nothing against Halloween. I rather enjoy dressing up the kids in an overpriced sweat box of something cute and knocking on strangers doors begging for crap (yep, I just said crap, cover your children's eyes:) that is going to cost me the equivalent of a small yacht at the dentist. IT. SO. MAKES. PERFECT. SENSE. TO. . ME!!
I also have nothing against advertisements. Mostly because in this day of DVR's I fast forward through them.
What I do have a problem with are the theme parks and their advertisements. Now if you are like me and you live within a reasonable distance of a theme park (say 5 surrounding states) then you are inundated with advertisements right now to visit the theme park for their Halloween-I-know-it-is-fake-but-still-scares-the-crap-out-of-me-event.
Really, do you have to post your blood and gore up on a billboard the size of life so you can frighten the crap out of my little kids? Really, they have to be traumatized by the sight of some football player looking freak with blood running down the side of his face, missing half his body with his eyes reflecting the devil? R.E.A.L.L.Y. That to you says good advertising? Have none of you ever had children? Are your children normal functioning members of society? I do have to wonder. I would like to say it is better on the radio, but even if I turn it down, you have maximized the audio to be heard even over a train. Really, my kids love to listen to the horror music and it is very easy to explain the sounds of a chainsaw and a person screaming and how they go together. THANK YOU! Now, the TV. As if the billboards, which I speed past or try to deflect their attention from and the radio which I have now pulled out of the car weren't enough. YOU HAD TO MAKE A COMMERCIAL TO RUN DURING AMERICA'S FUNNIEST VIDEO'S? IS. THERE. NOTHING. SACRED. PEOPLE? I don't watch the news during any hours my children may stumble across the TV (I can't afford therapy at 1,3 and 7) because I like to disillusion them into thinking the world is good. However, I am better off subjecting them to hours of real news of blood and gore than the crap you are exposing them to in your 30 second commercial. REALLY, IT SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF EVEN ME.
I do not visit your theme parks for your scare fest. My kids have given me enough gray hair. But, even if I did, I choose to see that, I am an ADULT! Yes, I agree, you have the freedom of speech. BUT PLEASE USE YOUR BRAIN! Please do NOT force my children to be scared out of their wits this time every year.
Please allow my kids the opportunity to use their imagination to think up the next reason for asking to sleep in my bed. They don't need your help!
visit our new home!
4 years ago