Writing

I remember back in middle school, sitting next to my BFF and writing letters, notes, poems... back and forth, together. With all the tender innocence of 13 year old girls in love and/or heartbroken, we used writing as a way to express our feeling.

While I am sure those sweet words would make me laugh today, at the time, they were very serious.

When I was a teenage, my mom and I would write notes to each other. Some would be as simple as me asking to do something. Others more serious in the form of an apology. Some letters were sweet thanks you's for something that had been done and yet others were honest, maybe too much so, and filled with all the problems and dilemma's of teenage angst.

In school, I reveled in the joy of writing papers, poems, essay's. The words, when written from my heart or on a subject I knew, flowed from my fingers, mind. Sometimes, I could not type fast enough to keep up with the thoughts in my brain.

As a young adult, I broke up via a letter to a boyfriend/roommate. Sweetly, I proclaimed my love and asked for his in return via a letter to what would become my future husband. Even while attending college full-time and working full-time, I still found time to write letters to my husband.

It was no surprise then that when I found out I was pregnant, I immediately began a journal for the baby. Determined was I to capture my feelings on every moment related to the growing miracle of life inside me. And when that miracle was born too early, when that miracle went home to be with our Father, well, I wrote about that too. Writing was the one place I felt I could try to make sense of the beauty and pain in my life.

For many years after that, I got busy having more children, raising them, teaching, being a wife and barely managing time to breath. Writing, along with many other things in life, got put on hold!

For some people, their very breath depends on making tv shows, helping others, music, exercise, sleep. While I will admit that I have a definite addiction to music, sleeping and exercise, I can not live without writing. For me, writing is cathartic. My safe haven to be myself. My outlet to say the things I can't in person, to express the things I may keep inside. It is also where I share the funny things in my life. The pictures that make up my world. The joy that God has blessed me with.

I guess it is no surprise then that I stumbled across blogging and immediately felt like I was home! Someone asked me once, why do I blog? Why do I want to share my life with the world? Quite honestly, it never occured to me that I was sharing it with the world. Rather, for me blogging is what I do for me. Just like exercising and sleeping, I do this for me and me alone.

Writing is where I make sense of life's difficulties. I write down and "forget" my problems, worries, complaints. Whether anyone reads them or not, is of little consequence to me. Many times, I write down either electronically or on paper, things that are on my mind and then immediately, delete or throw those thoughts away. Not wanting to save them for another day, they are "forgotten".

I have taken some grief over the past couple years about things I have written. Some posts have caused people to become concerned about me. Others have encited anger, compassion, love. I relish that my simple words envoke some, any, type of emotion in people. I am amazed, honestly...truly...amazed, that there are so many people who take time out of their busy day to read the things I have to say....

With that being said....writing is who I am....just like being a mother, wife, friend, daughter, being a writer, even if only for myself, is part of who I am...

So when you wonder why I blog, why I put it out there for the world, it really is as simple as saying, because I can not, not do it! I blog for me, because I have to write. I post because I enjoy your responses, because I enjoy letting you into this chaos we refer to as fun. The fact that any of you take the time to read these posts, respond to them, laugh or cry with me, is just the sprinkles on the icing on the cake!

I hope you all enjoy reading my blog as much as I enjoy writing it! Thanks